Salsa Snobs

You'd think this was a blog about salsa.....cilantro....onions....tomatoes....lime juice. Yum! But no. It's about Salsa...the dance, and how people have gone and fucked it up.

Salsa dancing to me is an art that simply revolves around the beat. The clave. The music. What's important about salsa dancing for me, is feeling the music, from the inside out, not just having it play in the background. What's important is interpreting music through your movements and sharing those movements with your partner...making a connection. Music to movement, movement to partner. And it's also about picking up your fucking feet and moving them.

My friend and I went to a Salsa Gala last night. It was held in a nice hotel, in a nice ballroom and it was a fancy affair. Everyone was dressed up with women in fancy dresses and men in fancy suits. There were fancy appetizers, various shows throughout the night, and a 15 piece salsa band. Sounds like a great time had by all.

Not so much! At least not for me and my amiga.

The girls brought their special dance shoes, and changed into them so that they could dance with their special dance partners and do their special flips and tricks.

My friend and I were ready to get down and feel the beat of the band but we felt so .... out of place.

Apparently everyone is a fricken salsa snob and this is how you must behave:

-Don't dance with anyone except your dance partner or people you know you will not look like an idiot with (god forbid you go the wrong way or don't follow the lead very well).

-Don't pay attention to the beat of the music. Just make sure you do 50 spins in 1 song, 30 flips, 100 tricks and 10 "shines". (Shines is what they call a few moments where the woman or the man does their own fancy dance and "shine" by themselves, while their partner is just doing the basic steps.)

- Make up your own dance! It doesn't matter if it's bachata, merengue or salsa.....just do whatever the hell you want, and make up your own crap!

- Do not drink alcohol. Salsa queens and kings, never get drunk. God forbid you start to actually feel the music or get a little tipsy.....it's UNACCEPTABLE!

- Don't do all of the actual salsa dance steps that go with the beat.....they just get in the way of the flips and tricks.

- Don't lift your feet up unless it's for a trick or dip.

- Men...don't be good leaders. Don't make your movements unquestionable. Expect women to know what the fuck your doing by lifting your arm up or flicking your wrist. (Why don't they know how to lead anymore? If you can't lead any random woman, you don't know how to freakin dance!)

So then, my friend and I decided to break all the fucking rules. We had a few drinks, we danced girl on girl, and we actually FELT the music. It was cool but the energy in that room sucked bleep. So we cut out early.

I am over the ballroom salsa wannabees in Vancouver. They need to get over themselves and remember what the hell salsa dancing is about.

I'm going back to the trashy salsa place in the shitty part of town. At least people drink, are there for the music, have fun, dance with whomever and have a good down to earth time dancing REAL salsa.

On that note....I need to go buy some cilantro...limes and tomatoes. Need a snack.