GU-ROSS!

There's this dude at the gym that I've noticed.

I haven't noticed him because he's hot, or sexy, or because he's ripped and has big muscles. I haven't noticed him because I want to bone him or because he has this special aura about him that I can't resist.

I've noticed this guy because he's gross.

He's always sweaty and dripping. His clothes are soaked through, and there are drops dribbling down his legs from up under his shorts (can I get an extra "gu-ross!"). If he just stood there and did nothing I might even accept the grossness. But no. He goes from one piece of equipment to another, to another, to another, (he must have equipment ADD), and spreads the wet grossness all over for your passing the grossnes on pleasure.

He does not wipe up after himself like he should. Or use the fancy spray to disinfect personal grossnesss away. No. Instead he uses an overused gross looking shredded piece of paper towel to DAB HIS FOREHEAD ("insert swearword here in CAPS").

Are you kidding me? You're dabbing your forehead after you've spread your nasty juice everywhere?

(Using the word "juice" takes this to an all time disgusting level high.)

So it doesn't end there.

Because just as I think he is getting less gross from dabbing his forehead, he gets even grosser and disgusting-er.

He walks over to the disinfectant spray bottle, looks around to make sure no one's watching him (I am though cuz I'm sick like that), goes into the corner and lifts his shirt. He sprays all up inside it like it's fucking deoderant or body spray. Spray spray spray like way more times than necessary.

But.

IT. DOES. NOT. STOP. THERE.

He pulls out the front of his shorts and sprays his (ewwww barf hack spew) privates!!!!!

Ok so but it doesn't stop THERE EITHER!

He then pulls out the back of his pants and sprays his ass crack!

What is most disturbing is the number of sprays he sprayed on his privates.

So then, he puts down the bottle and walks away while disinfectant spray mixed with swet and and gross-ness-i-dont-even-want-to-think-about-what-else is in that gross withhes brew running down his legs.

And then he takes his grossly overused shredded paper towel that is all wet and skanky and dabs his forehead.

Uh huh yeah.

It's true.

I can't even make this shit up.