COKE NAZI

So we go for lunch with our team at work and I think the waitress is kinda nice and funny and blah blah blah.

But then I order a Diet Coke and she proceeds to give me an F'n lecture about how bad Coke is for a minute and a half! I listen to her politely as she tries to convince me to get juice which I know is just extra calories for my ass and plus I don't F'n want it and then I tell her, I still want the Diet Coke.

Meanwhile, my team knows me pretty well so they are silent as they watch the steam fly off my head.

So the Coke Nazi asks the next person at the table what she'd like to drink. She doesn't ask for a Diet Coke though. Instead she asks for a COKE (with real sugar and everything)!!!!! BLASPHEMY! Ok so now the Coke Nazi waitress starts giving her shit too and saying she's going to die and stuff like that and that she should have a juice instead because the juice will save her. So she changes her order to a juice. Way to go there team, way to grow some balls! Anyways.

I think everyone else at the table got scared at that point and were watching the sparks fly from my eyeballs so when it came their turn, they told the Coke Nazi they'd stick with their Cucumber essence water instead. (Way to make more money for the restaurant there Coke Nazi!!! Donald Trump (or me) would so FIRE her ass!)

Then when Coke Nazi left I a blew a hairy spazz and my head spun around 3 times and I told everyone that I found her to be extremely inappropriate and that if I wanted advice on Coke I'd read the F'n ingredients. Like DUH?

I know it's bad for you. I get it. Now fuck off. I came here to eat and not be lectured. Know your role. Know your role!