You know you live or have lived in Mexico when...

I stole this off one of the boards I read because I couldn't resist sharing. It cracks me up and is um....este...so true:

-A wedding is at 8:00 p.m., you get there at 10:00 p.m. and nobody has arrived yet.

-You will often have lunch and dinner at the same restaurant on the same day... without actually leaving

-You believe a shot of tequila cures everything.

-You have more prescription drugs in your toiletry bag than Eckerd does and you don't have an actual prescription for a single one.

-You bring along small cans of chilies when traveling to Europe.

-Leaving the office at 5:00 p.m. means working a "half day".

-Returning to the office after "la comida" on Friday means you're "un pinche gato".

-You blame the traffic on the rich.

-You blame the crime on the poor.

-You blame the PRI for almost everything else.

-You blame los "pinches gringos" for whatever's left.

-The word "Puente" means five-day weekend.

-You enjoy drinking beer with lime, salt, ice, Tabasco sauce and still think it's the orange juice in the morning that gives you heartburn.

-"Licenciado" is a proper name.

-If you order the tacos and your friend orders the enchiladas, you're positive the waiter will get it backwards.

-You go "pssssst" to catch a waiter's attention... in New York City.

- You refer to "@" as "Arroba" but have no clue what it means.

-You use the word "este" as a conversational filter... in English.

-You say "Bueno" when answering a telephone... in English.

-You say "Mande" when someone calls you...in English.

-You keep on addressing good friends as barnyard animals. ("Buey" & "Cabron" are the animals most often employed).

-You refer to a salesman as "maestro"... at Saks Fifth Avenue.

-You eat tacos, enchiladas, morcilla, moronga, and medula, but believe hamburgers are unhealthy.

-When someone tells you "I'll call you," you assume that he won't.

-You know "a ver cuando nos vemos" actually means "I really don't care if I don't see you anytime soon".

-"Tomorrow" means "not right now", "never", or "screw you."

-Calling in sick on Monday is proper behavior.

-You keep a 20-dollar bill taped to the back of your driver's license.

-If you want 50 people to show up for your party, you invite 150.

-You call an 80 year-old waiter "joven".

-You call a twenty year-old waiter "viejo."

-You call everyone else, "hermano", "mano", or "manito".

-But you call your real brother, "pendejo."

-You never refer to a friend's mother as simply "su madre", but always qualify by saying, "su señora madre", or "su querida madre", to avoid a misunderstanding which could get you a "madrazo"

-You profess, "como Mexico no hay dos", but secretly wish Mexico City was more like San Antonio.