My "Guey"

My Contribution - Vancouver Olympics 2010

2010-04-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

Hey folks I'm here for my monthly blog and what's great is that my mom found refried beans for $1 a can and bought me hefty bag full of them. Isn't that awesome? I just read your comment now, Theresa and well I could make them myself but frankly just don't have the ganas to and at $1 a can (free really from mom)...how can you say no?

Ok enough about frijoles.

As some of you may know we had the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics here and it was pretty exciting and pretty cool and while I had to start work at 7am for a week straight, it really didn't directly effect me that much. It was cool to feel the vibe of the city and all the excitement in the air and it was great hosting so many visitors.

Here are some pics I took of the haps.

Olympic Ring Doggy:

Giant advert on buildings.

Art

More Art

Yup ART.

Fun lanterns:

Lantern trees?

Kyra in mold.

Liz in mold.

Go Canada!

Go Canada and Robson St!

BC Pavillion

YOU GOTTA BE HERE!

Giant projections on building!

Cool ad on building, hanging shoes...the human zipline also goes past here:

Oh look more stuff on building and busy streets.

Yes, I little piece of Mexico my friends. We are multicultural.

Yay cute!

Smile while the stupid Calgary flames dude walks in the background. Canucks is where it's at! DUH!

Burn baby burn. Outdoor flame.

Flame + Canadian Flag + Me = #1!

Vancouver 2010

Olympic rings on the water eh. Still #1!

Ocean + Rings + Mountains = Beautiful British Columbia

Wear it and wear it proud.

I have to say it was awesome seeing so much patriotism. Usually Canada is a little more laid back about who we are and how proud we are to be Canadian, but it was nice to see people go buck wild with it. I did a little too.

Was fun!

Plus we kicked ass in HOCKEY!

K. Gonna go eat some refried ones.

Until next month ... or something.

Here's a question...

2010-03-09T12:41:00.000-08:00

Why are refried beans like $3.00 a can at the supermarket where I live? From what I can remember, refried beans in Mexico are cheap as shit. But $3.00 a can? For refried beans that were made in Canada and the US? What are you all smoking? I think crack is cheaper?

I FREAKIN TOLD YOU!

2010-02-22T20:43:00.001-08:00

I am offiicially number one, also known as #1, also known as the Gold Medalist in the Google search for "guey cock".

I am so proud.

Holy shit. I have the bestest guey cock around.

YESssssssss!

And a special Thank YOU goes out to JJ who officially noticed! You are the best!

I has a specialz!!!

2010-02-22T16:34:00.000-08:00

Apparently, if you search Google for "guey cock", I show up in 2nd place!

The best part is that, now, after I post this, I'm sure to become the FIRST.

Didn't you always want to come first when someone searched "guey cock"? I know you did!!!! I can just taste the jealousy!!!!

So here I go. Here is my attempt at becoming first. I love to shoot for the stars! EAT this Search Engine Optimization maniacs!!!:

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I dare you to beat me at this game!

Yo mama and her guey cock!

Yeah bitches!

The Olympics Are Here!

2010-02-12T11:47:00.000-08:00

Yep. They are.

This is just outside my oficina!

COKE NAZI

2010-02-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

So we go for lunch with our team at work and I think the waitress is kinda nice and funny and blah blah blah.

But then I order a Diet Coke and she proceeds to give me an F'n lecture about how bad Coke is for a minute and a half! I listen to her politely as she tries to convince me to get juice which I know is just extra calories for my ass and plus I don't F'n want it and then I tell her, I still want the Diet Coke.

Meanwhile, my team knows me pretty well so they are silent as they watch the steam fly off my head.

So the Coke Nazi asks the next person at the table what she'd like to drink. She doesn't ask for a Diet Coke though. Instead she asks for a COKE (with real sugar and everything)!!!!! BLASPHEMY! Ok so now the Coke Nazi waitress starts giving her shit too and saying she's going to die and stuff like that and that she should have a juice instead because the juice will save her. So she changes her order to a juice. Way to go there team, way to grow some balls! Anyways.

I think everyone else at the table got scared at that point and were watching the sparks fly from my eyeballs so when it came their turn, they told the Coke Nazi they'd stick with their Cucumber essence water instead. (Way to make more money for the restaurant there Coke Nazi!!! Donald Trump (or me) would so FIRE her ass!)

Then when Coke Nazi left I a blew a hairy spazz and my head spun around 3 times and I told everyone that I found her to be extremely inappropriate and that if I wanted advice on Coke I'd read the F'n ingredients. Like DUH?

I know it's bad for you. I get it. Now fuck off. I came here to eat and not be lectured. Know your role. Know your role!

Monkeys. All a bunch of monkeys!

2010-02-10T10:50:00.000-08:00

So I go into the fridge this morning at work and some freakin Monkey put his (notice how I said "his") lunch on TOP of my nice fruit and cheese in the fridge.

W

T

F

What is wrong with people? There are shelves all over the place. Go find your own fridge space.

Seriously, these people are lucky I don't catch them in the act.

I'd totally make sure we were alone in the kitchen and then take their lasagna lunch and smash it in their face and then report them to HR and tell them they did it to themselves and that I think they might need to see a psychologist or something and that I fear for my own safety.

Revenge is a bitch.

Mini-Van Drivers = Road Rage for Me

2010-02-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

I don't know what the hell it is about mini-van drivers but they, without a doubt, like 99% of the time, drive like f'n assholes.

I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to post "F'n minivan driver's convention!!!" on my Facebook status but have refrained from doing so since talking on the phone or texting is all sorts of illegal these days. If I can refrain from doing that, I think that mini-van drivers can refrain from doing their best to annoy the hell out of me.

I'm going to make the assumption that there are kids in those mini-vans which is why the driver is being more "cautious". But in reality, they are only making things worse by swerving in and out of lanes, not signalling, driving below the speed limit and secretly emitting signals that mock me into road rage status.

Am I the only one that thinks mini-vans are a nightmare? AND Yogurt manufacturers?

Damn You Yogurt Makers! DAMN YOU!

2010-02-02T10:50:00.000-08:00

I'm pissed off at yogurt!

How hard is it to fucking make a normal natural yogurt that's creamy and smooth and that they havent taken all the good stuff out of?

I can only get it at Costco - the Kirkland brand. I wasnt able to get there in time so I thought I'd buy a few different ones at the grocery store and they all fucking suck big time cock!

****This rant was brought to you by the old school Mexico "Way"****

Thank you.

Boo!

2009-10-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

A girl at work designed this as a joke and I didn't even realized the face is ME!

Anyhow...getting into the spirit of Halloween!

Since I'm on a roll...

2009-10-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

There should be some sort of rule to ban co-workers from eating crunchy shit at their desk.

Probably my biggest pet peeve ever is people who chew with their mouths open, and people who make all sorts of crunching sounds when you eat.

I understand there is no quiet way of eating shit like celery or biting into apples. But seriously, take your f'n crunchy eating elsewhere because for some f'd up reason I hear that shit like wayyyyyy louder than everyone else.

This has been an issue for a very long time. Friends and family get it. They try not to make me go buck wild crazy. I appreciate it I really do.

But there are those other times, that I really don't have much control of. Like my lovely new assistant who likes to eat rice cakes and celery and raw veggies all the time. Believe me I tell her she's annoying, but she just laughs and tries to crunch the celery quieter when in fact, her attempt at it is fruitless and annoys me even more.

I could use ear plugs or listen to my music but unless I'm going deaf, I can still hear it. So I sit and I suffer and have dreams of punching crunchy eaters in the face.

I know you think I'm over reacting, or maybe you agree. Whatever the case, this shit drives me nuts and if I were boss, I'd ban crunchy shit in the office.

PS I used the word "butmunchers" in my last post. I wanted to put in the extra "t" to spell it "buttmunchers" but I could not. I actually looked up the spelling in the urban dictionary and they had one so I left it. Maybe they spell it both ways, I'm not sure, cuz I didn't even take the time to click through the link to check. Want to know why? I was too busy telling my co-worker that I was going to kill her if she brought the same shit for a snack tomorrow.

Haven't Bitched

2009-10-13T16:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't bitched in a long while about anything but I want to bitch about this.

I am sick and tired of people at work making comments about "how late" I'm eating my lunch.

Firstly, what's it to you?

Second, um maybe it's "late" for you but for me, it's right on freakin time.

Third, I do not talk to you about how early I think you're eating your shitty lunch, so don't bug me about when I'm eating mine. And as a side note, stop inspecting it and commenting on it. I don't do it to you. So back off.

And fourth, to those out there who only live in their own little world...not everyone eats at 12 p.m. on the dot. In fact, many people have their "lunch" when it's appropriate to them. Sometimes it's at 3 a.m. and sometimes it's at 4 p.m. That's their perogative.

So yeah. Back off you early lunch eaters who constantly make comments about me eating lunch at 1:30 or 2:00 p.m. It's not late. AT ALL. It's right f'n on time for me and my "crazy assed" schedule.

Thanks.

Butmunchers!

Who the? Where the? What the?

2009-09-24T15:22:00.000-07:00

Should I just skim over the fact that I just haven't been around at all lately? I mean, I have, just not on my blog. And not on other people's blogs either. I'm a busy girl and during busy times, some things have to give. My blog was one of those things. I'm sorry if you missed me (BLUES xoxoxoxo!!!) but if you did not, I will not have a broken heart. I understand that relationships are give and take and well....I haven't really been giving...OR taking.

Anyways, enough of that.

On to business.

So what's new?

Work work work. Work has been sucking the life out of me. In a good way, but never-the-less it has been sucking the life out of me and has been a main form of stress for me? Why? When I started this job last year after moving back home, I kind of started in a non-existent position. I was in "Project Development". Fancy name I suppose. Anyhooo I worked my ass off. I wanted to prove to the company that I was certainly capable of doing wayyyyy more. And voila. I proved my point. I got a promotion and I'm currently managing someone below me. This is good stuff. The bad stuff is that I've been literally fighting to get the salary I deserve. I believe I will get it, but the fact that I have to fight so hard kinda sucks. I mean I get it. The company wants to try and get the most out of you for the least amount of money. I've already been doing that for the last year. NO MORE.

Dentist. Oh wow, live in Mexico for 6 years, visit the dentist there, then go back home and get a big fricken wake up call. One thing I've learned about dental in Mexico (well...let me say Cancun because that's less broad) is that it mostly deals with issues as they arise. You have a toothache...you go to the dentist...they yank it or give you a root canal and away you go. Back home...you go to the dentist and they do this big time thorough check on you, check your gums, all your teeth, ask you lots of questions, have you fill out forms, and MAKE you go to the dental hygienist (who by the way is NOT the dentist) and THEN they work on your teeth, attack the problem, and then diagnose you and tell you what sort of future problems you may have and what you should do to prevent them. I think that was a really long sentence. I'm sorry and really I'm not changing it so just deal with it. Anyways, they say I'm suppose to get a gum graft done. Basically they cut chunks out of the roof of my mouth and insert them on my lower gums to prevent further receding. Sounds fun right? No. I'm wearing my mouth guard when I sleep and have been brushing more carefully now. I'm dreading this. I'd rather have knee surgery again. So anyways, if I would have known of these preventative treatments like say....oh I dunno about 5 years ago, my receding gumlines would have been in way better shape. Good shit.

I'm still dating the man whom I call my future husband. Things are moving along nicely with him. He really is a sweetheart and a catch and it helps that he totally adores me. My family totally digs him and so do I so that's always good. I'm going to stick with him, I say he's my future husband cuz I just know it. I expect a big one and hope that it blinds the fuck out of me. The added bonus is that he LOVES Diesel to death and although he says he wishes Diesel didn't have to sleep in the bed with us, he still knows that that's as far as it will go. Him "wishing". He needs to figure out the cats. Cats are harder to get. But my cats are one of a kind and I think he needs to spend more time with them. Maybe when we move in. He already knows I come as a package. Me and my zoo. I did not haul their furry asses all the way from Mexico to get rid of them for some man. This is why me and the bf get along so well. He gets that.

Martial arts is going well too. I was teaching for a while there and will be again I believe in January or something like that. I also did a demonstration at one of the fairs. I'm sort of mentoring a few people and it's nice that they respect me so much. I think this is mostly based on my legendary reputation of kicking ass but maybe it might be because I've still retained some skill from the days before I busted my ACL and had surgery. The bf doesn't really get the martial arts thing but he does support me and that's nice. I'm thinking of getting him to hold some pads for me and making it a couples thing. Maybe then he'll get it. And if not, I could "miss" the focus mitt and knock him one. Maybe? Ok. Maybe not. It was funny though wasn't it?

My psychic self. If you've been reading my blog for a while you know that I've drawn cards for some people and predicted a few things and that I see ghosts. I just recently got a spiritual reading from some dude on the street. I know...strange...but he's good really good. Apparently I have some sort of hidden talent that I'm not harnessing. I know I know. Apparently I need to work with fire and water. Maybe I'll be a crazy lady that does readings for people by staring into a big glass bowl full of water with floating candles in it. Maybe. Just maybe. (JJ -listen to the cards)

And some of the bestest news ever is that Diesel gained 1 pound and 3 ounces in the last year. Check out this picture of his skinny spine. It was horrid for me as he didn't really eat much when I was in Cancun....but he is doing so well here. I am so happy for him!

And now look at him being Mr. Adventurous in his life jacket. No more bones just muscles!:

Mr. I LOVE THE SUN AND THE AIR MATTRESS:

The cabin that I love:

And here I am kicking some ass at the demo:

Over and out.

HBD JJ!

2009-09-13T12:06:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCE!

Happy Birthday Roger!

2009-08-07T23:06:00.001-07:00

Oh my gosh I'm so freakin tired! I've been baking and decorating a birthday cake and have spent the rest of the week preparing for the bf's bday!

Here's a peek at one of the gifts and my cake. He likes cars and motorbikes. Oh and ME haha. Thus the calendar!

Remind me not to go into the cake business. This took too long!

Correcting the Confusions

2009-07-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

I thought I was clear about my joke but it appears I was not? I've had a couple of people say "Congratulations on your engagement!", but I'm not sure why. I mean I know why, but I did say I was not engaged after a bunch of spacing and stuff. If you missed it, it appeared as follows:

I'm engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Psych!

I'm not. Haha.

So, to be clear again, I'm not engaged............

..........
..........
.......
..
.

yet!

What's the Haps!?

2009-07-24T14:40:00.001-07:00

I'm not even going to mention my blog absence. Oh wait...I just did!

Busy busy busy busy in real life and frankly if I had to pick blogs, twitter or Facebook....I choose Facebook! I can check and comment quickly without having to spend a long time writing or reading. However! This does not mean I've forgotten my blogger friends! In fact, a lot of you are Facebook right there with me!!!

Anyways. So what's new!?

Work is going good. There are lots of changes around me but my position is pretty stable and I still enjoy what I do. So that's good. I also helped the family out at the traditional Folk Festival this year. A weekend full of music and hippies and all sorts of good stuff. So things on the work front are good. I'm not making millions yet but at least I'm happy!

Martial arts is going good as well. I've been teaching cardio muay thai kickboxing classes twice a week and have been loving it. The students like the fact that I mix it up and I'm particular about technique and making sure they are doing things properly AND getting a good workout at the same time. Since I've been kinda sick and busy with other stuff I haven't been able to train myself but that should change soon. The competitive bug is still in me somewhere but we'll have to see how my training goes. I am really hard on myself when it comes to martial arts and set extremely high standards and expect myself to be in a certain amount of shape mentally and physically before I compete and I haven't felt close to that, so in the meantime, I'm enjoying things as they are.

On the boy front....do you remember way back when I said I was going to meet my husband and I said the same thing on Twitter?

Guess what!

I'm engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Psych!

I'm not. Haha. But he's really nice, treats me like a princess, is thoughful, super funny and things are going really well.

I know I promised pictures of my trip to Punta Cana and I will get them up eventually. In addition I have some pics and vids of a trip up to my cabin. Diesel came with us in the canoe and he had is very own life jacket. It was to die for cute. He loved it out there!

Anyways, the only pics I have are from a photo shoot I did and some ones I can steal from the friend I went with. So I'll go get them right now and post them below. By the time you read this you won't even notice the time gap!

Sorry about the order. I don't have the time or patience to fix. But they are here! That's what counts! Enjoy!

Me & Roni at the marine platform. They had the sharks and manta rays just behind us:

Here are some random dudes we had 5 minutes of fun with (bwahahahaha!):

The view from the breakfast lunch buffet.Hardly shabby!:

Our first night at our reserved dinner restaurant (Mexican...haha!):

Self portraits are the bestest and so is my chump face!:

Our last day before we got on the bus and cried because we were leaving:

Ahhhhh:

The beach!:

Market on the beach:

Beach view. Same as Cancun!:

And here are a couple professional pics:

One Year

2009-07-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

As of yesterday, I have officially been back in Vancouver for 1 year.

I honestly can't believe it's been that long already but what I do believe is that I made the right decision to leave Cancun when I did.

Over-all I'm happy I left and happy with what I've got going on right now.

I still miss my friends in Cancun but thanks to the internets I am able to speak with them quite often.

So there you have it. There is life after Cancun!!!!

I still have picks to post. Not sure when that's going to happen as this week and weekend is going to be SUPER BUSY for me but I'll try...

Hasta la pasta!

Thanks for the Music

2009-06-26T10:27:00.000-07:00

The poster I had of Michael Jackson when I was a little girl.

Punta Cana? Trip Report?? Pics???

2009-06-25T13:38:00.000-07:00

Ha ha ha ha. I've been totally missing! Again! Oh my gosh I just can't keep up with all the blog, Facebook, Twitter, chat, email business anymore. I'm so behind in reading all of your blogs and can't even keep my own up.

I'm not sure if the appeal is wearing off or not but I just find it more difficult. Am I busier than I use to be? Yes. So that has to have something to do with it. But even during times when I technically could blog I don't. What up? I dunno but I'm rambling and you probably don't give a shit and just want to see pics of the beautiful beach in Punta Cana!

Guess what!?

You're not getting them right now. Hahaha. I do have some great personal pics and videos that I will share but I don't have them with me right now. The only thing I have with me are the pics from my professional photo shoot which was tonnes of fun and totally worth the moola. But I think I'll just post those with the rest of the pics.

So, my trip was f'n great. I miss it. But I will say that it's so much nicer to take a vacation than quote un quote live in paradise and never vacation (trips home don't count). Because lets face it, paradise wasn't truly paradise all of the time. In fact it was just paradise for a fraction of the time and even then I still found room to bitch. Because, that's me and that's what I do.

Before I went I had a few haters say how they hated Dominican or that I would be bored, and the hotel is a compound and you're not allowed to leave blah blah blah. Guess what people? Let me make my own decision as to what I think of the place. It's none of that and I'm sorry you couldn't make an effort to have a better time but don't rain on my parade. Gracias!

To me, this is what it was:

The perfect beach vacation paradise for beach lovers. You like a little bit of action but not too much. You want to chill around the hotel, but want the hotel to provide enough entertainment to keep you content should you want to do something more than lay on the beach and roast. You want to take a tour or two and want a couple clubs to visit off the hotel property but really, this is a vacation of relaxation and beach beach beach. You want palm trees, white sand beaches & turquoise waters galore. Punta Cana is for you.

Something I learned on the bus and flight back to Vancouver:

Choose your hotel wise wise wisely!!!! Half the people we talked to were not very happy with their hotel. What does that lead to? ------> Not so happy with your vacation and not so happy with Punta Cana.

But we got lucky. Our hotel was great. There were some things that annoyed us but hell, that's normal. They were honestly so small it's silly to mention. All in all, I really think that since we had such a great hotel, we had such a great vacation. Dominican Republic is pretty much made up of All Inclusive resorts and this will be your home/city for the duration of your vacation. If you hate the food at your hotel, you're screwed. If you hate your room, you're screwed. If you hate the fact that the hotel doesn't offer entertainment or nice lounge chairs, you're screwed. So if you go to Dominican (really if you go anywhere), pay super duper close attention to your hotel BEFORE YOU GO. You get what you pay for! Check Trip Advisor reviews, look at recent photos taken of the place do your homework! I did and voila. I was a happy camper.

We stayed at the Gran Bahia Principe Bavaro, Punta Cana. If you're going to honeymoon, you may want to stay at the Ambar as it's a tidge nicer in terms of hotel rooms and private pools. The resort is huge as I believe it's like 3 Bavaro hotels in one giant resort. We got lost more than once. :) They even have little busses that can take you the length of the resort if you're feeling lazy and don't want to walk. We were only there for a week but wished it was 10 days. We felt like we needed a couple more since the recovery from our hellishly long flight was a bit of a longer process than we wanted. But seriously? It was worth it.

Ok this is too long. More later...

Punta Cana Trip Report

2009-06-15T16:51:00.001-07:00

I went to the beach everyday, played in the water, got an awesome tan, ate a bunch of crap, drank even more crap, danced a little merengue, flirted with the staff and slept like no tomorrow. Amen.

I thought I'd never say this...

2009-06-04T11:09:00.001-07:00

...but it is TOTALLY sweaty crotch weather in Vancouver right now!

Not ready, leaving Friday!

2009-06-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

Well folks I leave Friday night for Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.

I'm not ready. I'm not packed. My house is a mess and strangely, I'm kind of not ridiculously excited?

What the hell!?

Getting sick last week has totally thrown me off and I'm all out of sorts.

I will try my best to get most of my shit taken care of this evening, otherwise I'm getting on that airplane with a bikini, pareo, toothbrush, comb and that's it.

Yes I am bringing my camera and yes I'll take pictures. I doubt there will be one of my old fashioned trip reports though, so don't get TOO excited.

I can write a trip report now if you like:

I went to the beach everyday, played in the water, got an awesome tan, ate a bunch of crap, drank even more crap, danced a little merengue, flirted with the staff and slept like no tomorrow. Amen.

And there you have it.

Have fun without me!

I dare you...

2009-05-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

...to sit still during this song:

It's Friday!

2009-05-22T15:59:00.001-07:00

And all I have to say is THANK GOD.

Here are some other things:

My mom is the bestest evah! I said I wanted to plant some stuff in my small garden and she went out and bought tomatoes, cliantro, etc. and even snuck in to plant them and make my garden all nice and purdy. I will have to take pics. It's small but very cute. Wasn't that nice of her? She even got me some garden tools cuz I'm too lazy to bother!

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!

Work is super duper hectic and crazy and I'm losing my mind. I did however win Employee of the Month so I guess I'm doing something right?

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!

Just because someone is family, doesn't mean you have to put up with their crap and it doesn't mean you have to like them either. If you've tried to make it work and it doesn't, avoid contact with this person. Point taken. Will do.

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!

I'm going on a blind date tonight and he is going to end up my husband. Don't ask how I know. I just do. My psychic self (aka La Bruja) says so.

Punta Cana is officially two weeks away. I can't wait to get my arse there.

I really do have great friends and good people in my life and I should focus on them instead of the fuckheads.

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!

I bought rollerblades and was scared to death of stopping using the break the first day. The second day....not so bad at all. I get it, it's fun and great exercise.

I will be getting back to teaching at my Martial Arts Club. It will only be the Cardio Kickboxing classes, but they aren't really much different from the other classes except that it's to music, there's more cardio and you don't get to beat the shit out of anyone.

K that's all for now I think.

Have a good one!

TGIF!

Get out of the kitchen!

2009-05-15T12:41:00.000-07:00

I went into the kitchen at work this morning and I'm not kidding you, there were about 6 men standing around talking, laughing and being all chummy.

It was really weird and made me feel "off" and all I wanted to do was slice a banana on my shredded wheat and pour my milk without rubbing elbows with such a large group of male species.

As I opened the cupboard and reached up to grab a bowl, I blinked my eyes twice and said out loud,

"TESTOSTERONE BE GONE!"

And they all cleared the fuck out of there.

God I'm good.

You should try that out one day and see if it works for you.

Let me know.

Chicle

2009-05-12T14:56:00.000-07:00

I asked a coworker for a chicle the other day and he said no.

I said, but you always have gum!?

And he goes, oh well, I have this, and he pulls a pack of gum out of his "stash" drawer.

I'm like why didn't you say yes you liar?

And he said, you asked for a particular brand and I don't have it!

.
.
.

He needs Spanish lessons.

Oh Right! I have a blog...

2009-05-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

...Yeah um I kinda forgot I had a blog and all that. I apologize although I'm sure you've managed to function just fine without me! Life is busy and all that so I have less time to write. Plus, not as much crazy shit happens here so you get what you get when you get it.

The good news about my absence is that I have managed to avoid yapping about Pig Flu (I refuse to call it by it's proper name because I'm like that) so if you've been trying to avoid reading about it, I've surely helped out!!! And if you've wanted to read about it...well there was plenty of shit out there to find and now of course the giant FEAR about nothing is gone.

I feel really bad for Mexico as a whole it's really been getting a shitty wrap lately and I will say that it really doesn't deserve it. So as a result, lots of people who rely on the tourism industry are suffering and it's just not cool. I know Mexico will bounce back, it always does. If any country is good at bouncing back it's Mexico, but yet my heart aches a little for the current suffering and I actually feel guilty that I don't live there right now, and that I'm not battling it out beside my friends.

Mexico is still such an integral part of who I am and how I think and I often find myself wavering between how I think as an expat in Mexico and how I think as a Canadian.

Last week I had a friend over to watch a movie and I decided to order it from my digital cable box. This means I can just pick the movie from my t.v. and watch it instead of venturing out to Blockbuster and dealing with all that bullshit. But the movie had glitches the entire way through and me and my guest just decided to live through it because calling up the company and disrupting the ambiance seemed like the wrong thing to do.

I said I would call the company and bitch the next day but then the next day came and I thought the following:

Don't bother calling they won't even answer the phone.
If they answer the phone they'll act polite but then hang up and send you to the hell.
They won't believe me if I tell them and think I'm a crazy gringa.
They will tell me they will credit me just to get me off the phone but it's just a big fat lie. I'll never see it reflected on my bill.
They'll tell me I need to go to the office if I want something done about it.
They'll say, "you're not suppose to have that service" and disconnect my internet just for fun.
They'll change my address on my bill and then make me phone 50 times and go to the office to change it back, even though I didn't fuck up in the first place. (Might lead to slamming phone on desk...just a 411)

But then I shook my head and was like....WTF is wrong with you?

Call and bitch and make them give you something in return. So I called, and I was polite and they apologized and gave me a credit for another movie. LOL.

Certainly not like Mexico at all! LOL. But I'm grateful that I know the difference and can appreciate the simplicity I've found back in Canada.

On another note, I just booked a beach vacation and no it's not Cancun. It's not that I'm not going to Cancun right now because of a stupid flu, or because the Mafia scares me. But I really do think I should see other parts of the world right now. So I'm hittin Punta Cana for now but hope to see the CUN at the end of the year. So do me a favor and don't make me feel guilty. There really is more to it than just the "seeing other parts of the world" but I don't know how to explain it so I'm just not going to.

I could write more and ramble on forever but maybe I'll blog on the weekend or something....or maybe not? HAHAAHA.

Bai and I lurves you allz.

You know you live or have lived in Mexico when...

2009-04-29T12:02:00.000-07:00

I stole this off one of the boards I read because I couldn't resist sharing. It cracks me up and is um....este...so true:

-A wedding is at 8:00 p.m., you get there at 10:00 p.m. and nobody has arrived yet.

-You will often have lunch and dinner at the same restaurant on the same day... without actually leaving

-You believe a shot of tequila cures everything.

-You have more prescription drugs in your toiletry bag than Eckerd does and you don't have an actual prescription for a single one.

-You bring along small cans of chilies when traveling to Europe.

-Leaving the office at 5:00 p.m. means working a "half day".

-Returning to the office after "la comida" on Friday means you're "un pinche gato".

-You blame the traffic on the rich.

-You blame the crime on the poor.

-You blame the PRI for almost everything else.

-You blame los "pinches gringos" for whatever's left.

-The word "Puente" means five-day weekend.

-You enjoy drinking beer with lime, salt, ice, Tabasco sauce and still think it's the orange juice in the morning that gives you heartburn.

-"Licenciado" is a proper name.

-If you order the tacos and your friend orders the enchiladas, you're positive the waiter will get it backwards.

-You go "pssssst" to catch a waiter's attention... in New York City.

- You refer to "@" as "Arroba" but have no clue what it means.

-You use the word "este" as a conversational filter... in English.

-You say "Bueno" when answering a telephone... in English.

-You say "Mande" when someone calls you...in English.

-You keep on addressing good friends as barnyard animals. ("Buey" & "Cabron" are the animals most often employed).

-You refer to a salesman as "maestro"... at Saks Fifth Avenue.

-You eat tacos, enchiladas, morcilla, moronga, and medula, but believe hamburgers are unhealthy.

-When someone tells you "I'll call you," you assume that he won't.

-You know "a ver cuando nos vemos" actually means "I really don't care if I don't see you anytime soon".

-"Tomorrow" means "not right now", "never", or "screw you."

-Calling in sick on Monday is proper behavior.

-You keep a 20-dollar bill taped to the back of your driver's license.

-If you want 50 people to show up for your party, you invite 150.

-You call an 80 year-old waiter "joven".

-You call a twenty year-old waiter "viejo."

-You call everyone else, "hermano", "mano", or "manito".

-But you call your real brother, "pendejo."

-You never refer to a friend's mother as simply "su madre", but always qualify by saying, "su señora madre", or "su querida madre", to avoid a misunderstanding which could get you a "madrazo"

-You profess, "como Mexico no hay dos", but secretly wish Mexico City was more like San Antonio.

No Bull

2009-04-26T10:53:00.000-07:00

My Irish friend at work showed me this vid at work on Friday afternoon. And well, if you've worked with me, you can guess that on Friday afternoons I pretty much lose it.

I lost it over this video. SOOOOOOOOooooooooo funny. I couldn't stop laughing.

Did you pee your pants?

I should blog more but life is busy. I'll try harder this week.

The Garrafon Nazi...

2009-04-15T16:33:00.000-07:00

...just struck again!

Muahahahahaha!

Be Prepared!

2009-04-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a really quick rant.

Here's the scenario:

You have plans with your friends, you've known for a week, you know what time you're meeting them and you know how much everything is going to cost.

What you do:

For starters, you're late. This is unacceptable because I'm ALREADY late and yet you're still not ready so you make ALL OF US WAIT FOR YOUR SLOW ASS. We find parking but the only way to pay is by phone and you need a credit card but woops! You forgot it. Guess who has to step up to the plate? Surprise! ME! But guess what, that's not going to fly because I don't want my credit card attached to your license plate number. So now we have to move the car after we drove around several times trying to find a parking space. Then, you conveniently say you don't have any money on you when we have to buy tickets for the event. You "hope" they take "debit card" which is totally ridiculous for the event we are attending. OF COURSE THEY DON'T. Then, you inconvenience us all because you a) weren't considerate enough to make sure you were prepared and b) make us ALL wait outside in the cold so that YOU can go to the bank machine.

Maybe I'm just hyper sensitive about this kind of shit, especially since everyone in Mexico pretty much carries cash all the time and I never had to deal with this bullshit down there. But you KNOW you're going somewhere that will cost you money. WHY WHY WHY can't you guys get it together and make sure you have a little bit of money on you, plus your debit card, plus a credit card? It's called preparation and back-up. I has it. You needs to gots it too!

It's not my job to wait around because of your piss poor planning, nor is it my job to drop you at a bank machine and wait around, nor is it my job to lend you money, nor is it my job to have to pay for parking because you suck.

Got it?

GOOD!

Facebook Status Blowup

2009-04-08T10:44:00.000-07:00

Last night after my lovely cat Moco (who is more dangerous than, "I want to lie on your clean clothes" Diablo), decided to mess with my printer. As a result, I thought the perfect outlet for this was my Facebook status when I was suddenly reminded that I should have just blogged. So I am copying and pasting what went down on Facebook last night here, because it was so, ME in my Bitchlog sort of way.

Please Note: Names have been changed to protect the innocent (which includes me).

My Guey is going to kill her cat Moco for sticking her paws in her printer and ripping parts out of it. Say goodbye to her now JJ!

My Guey likes this.

Lurker Girl at 21:36 on 07 April

Don´t kill her. Box...holes...ship south!

JJ at 21:43 on 07 April

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Angel! She was just trying to help the paper get out faster!

My Guey at 21:44 on 07 April

You don't want her either! You know she'll attack the baby Jesus. I can hear you now screaming at her. Seriously I don't know that that's such a good idea either. You'll kill her too. OH MY GOD I'M SO MAD. She's the devil in disguise. It's F'Head's fault for grabbing her face and saying "She's cute and oh no she has spray paint on her we can't leave her!!!" Bastard. YES WE CAN.

This is where you tell me to breathe and that "you'll take care of it".

Good thing too. Flames....on top....of head....smoke... = distastah!...

Susie says I'm a mathematical genious....hows this for math:

Moco + Printers + Tampons in purse + Electronics on table + jewlery + chicken = ME VERY MAD ME VERY SCARY

Oh my god that was as long as blog. Why didn't I just blog????

Ah hahahaha. I'm laughing now. Ha. That was funny. Ok time for night nights.

Bai!

My Guey at 21:47 on 07 April

JJ, PULEASE. The thing was off.

Moco = Devil

Lurker Girl at 21:47 on 07 April

Can´t breathe...laughing too hard! You ... breathe...then hide EVERYTHING....and go get some sleep!

Seriously that was one of the funniest rants I´ve read in a LONG time!!

Tacks at 21:56 on 07 April

I need a paper shredder. can i borrow her?

JJ at 21:56 on 07 April

Well I for one am happy I live 300 miles south...

Kimchi Girl at 22:43 on 07 April

heeheehee:)

SeWong at 23:23 on 07 April

your cat... + chicken?!

Lil Spicy 1:36 on 08 April

Now that's the MyGuey that I have grown use to seeing....she appears every now & again....then poof, she's gone!

My Guey at 10:00 on 08 April

SeWong...yes...she steals it. She is a super duper fan of the raw stuff.

Lil Spicy...glad to oblige. Don't forget, I have multiple personalities so of course the whacko cat hater has to come and go. lol.

She Always Finds the Clean Ones...

2009-04-07T18:27:00.000-07:00

My jeans, hung up to dry:

Lint stuck on my jeans:

Seriously, why do they always go after the clean stuff???

A Letter to Zombie Walker

2009-04-03T13:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Zombie Walker,

Thank you for encouraging me, without words, to write this blog. It’s been brewing for a long time but you know, I’ve been busy with life and things like walking with a purpose, unlike yourself.

I notice you are listening to music, chatting on the phone, texting and staring off into a distance that is so far from your existence that you will never, ever reach it. None of these things give you some sort of super power that instantly evaporates all those around you into tiny droplets that explode when the sunlight connects with them. This does not make you alone out there. There are still people around you and you are not the only mother fucker out there breathing in the crisp air and stepping upon the good earth.

Frankly, you’re in my way. You are in front of me, walking a slow deathly speed and every time I try to get around you, you slowly change course in that same direction. I, in return, change course like a pinball in a pinball machine, and yet again, you change your course too.

I am not sure if you’re aware of the group I’ve joined on Facebook? You should be. Take note Zombie Walker. Use a large pen and highlight it. Say it out loud. The group is called, “I secretly want to punch slow walking people in the back of the head”. Guess what? It’s not a fucking secret anymore. You are a slow walker, and I want to punch you in the back of the head.

“Excuse me.”, I ask politely.
“Excuse me.”, I say again.
“HELLOOOOO?????”, I spew with irritation overload.
“EXCUSE ME!!!!”, as I shoulder check you and launch a thousand Spartan spears from my eyes into your head whilst silently laughing inside like the devil who got her groove back on.

By the time I’ve passed, you’ve finally awaken from your slumber, only to realize that the explosion of droplets that you thought evaporated me into nothingness has reformed me into a living breathing human being!

No fucking shit! I actually EXIST and you are NOT ALONE!

So do me a favor.

Wake the fuck up Zombie Walker. This is not a dreamful wake and you are not dreaming a vivid sleep.

THIS
IS
REAL
LIFE

And until you realize this, I vow to rip your cold zombie heart from your chest and throw it at your head so that you will never. Ever. Inconvenience me, because of you’re zombie state, ever. EVER. AGAIN!

Thank you dear Zombie!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I feel like we have finally come to an understanding.

And if we haven’t…remember…I won’t be too far behind you, plotting your demise.

Yours truly,

My Guey

How did you find me?

2009-03-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

GOOGLE SEARCH:

Do you get high smelling cow shit

I'm so glad that's how you found me. Because if it were anything else less funny, this whole blog thing just wouldn't be worth it.

Multiple Personalities - I Has Them

2009-03-23T16:15:00.000-07:00

On Saturay night I had to attend my boss' birthday party. While it was an enjoyable party, I did have other plans that evening to attend to. Dancing salsa with a few friends to be exact.

I made an appearance to the party and dressed as I would when I go out salsa dancing. A skirt, sexy top and sexy shoes with hair done curly and loose so that it can fly around when I dance.

I had mentioned to a co-worker at my boss' party where I was going later but didn't think it really registered with her, or that she cared. I quickly said a few goodbyes at the party and made a quick exit out so as to not cause a ruckus.

I met my salsa buddies at the restaurant where we would be dancing and we found a table close to the dance floor and got busy.

So there I was dancing salsa with my friend, giggling away, spinning and tapping my feet to the beat when I hear a knock at the window and turn my head. It's my co-worker waving her hand and smiling frantically at me. As I spun around to continue the beat, I waved back and smiled and continued floating about with my partner.

I'll be honest, it kind of took me by surprise and made me feel a little strange for a moment but she quickly left and I continued my night of dancing without thinking twice about it.

This morning when I walked into work my co-worker had this to say to me:

"Elizabeth, you looked absolutely radiant and stunning while dancing and I've never seen you so happy and carefree! You just had this glow about you. It was great to see and I wish I could dance like you."

I had a moment of pure embarrassment and realized that she had just discovered a new part of me that I generally reserve for my salsa friends and acquaintances only. It was almost as if she had taken a peak at one of my other personalities and combined "work Liz" with "salsa Liz" and it made me feel really strange.

As I tried to brush off the awkward feeling I had I realized that I didn't have just two personalities. There wasn't just "Work Liz" and "Salsa Liz" but also a collection of others. Friends, I am pleased to introduce you to "Cancun Liz" and "Martial Arts Liz" and "Vancouver Liz" along with "Family Liz" and "Girlfriend Liz" and we can't forget "Drunk Liz" and "Blogger Liz" and "Angry Liz" (be careful of Angry Liz....she's scary) and "I'm so tired and hungry I might kill you Liz".... and that's just the start of the mass collection of "Liz's".

More often than not, I keep my personalities separate from each other and they don't overlap much. So when they mix and someone gets a peak into two or more personalities at once when generally they should only know one, I feel like they've stepped into some sort of different part of my world that they are secretly viewing without full permission.

What a sight it would be for my "Martial Arts friends" to see my "Salsa Liz" and vice versa. No doubt they would get a little confused because I will admit, I am a different person depending on what situation and friends I'm around at the time. Obviously "Salsa Liz" is dressed all pretty and glides around the dance floor in the most feminine way she can. But "Martial Art's Liz" is tough, likes to kick hard, has bruises all the time, can hang with the guys and talk UFC, hits things and has her hair tied back with no flashy jewlery or even shoes, let alone strappy high heels.

It's kind of like having a friend for a very long time that is all earthy and light and feminine and never wears a tidge of makeup. This is how you know them and that is all you know. Until, you bump into them on the street and they are on their way to a goth party, all dressed in black with funky goth clothes wearing dark makeup and have bright red lips with gothy punk shoes and hair. They are still your friend, but it's your friend being completely different from what you were use to.

Generally, I'm the same person but when my co-worker mentioned how different she saw me, I realized that I do have multiple personalities!!!! They are most often kept away from each other but not because I don't want them to know about other personalities but just that that's the way it has happened. It's a filing system of sorts.

This has become a bit of an issue lately since I've got so many personalities, yet I can only physically be in one place at a time. I really have been so busy that I don't know what to do with all of my-selves!

As a result, "blogger Liz" has not had enough time to blog much lately but she knows that all of her "blogger friends" forgive her and that helps a whole bunch because then she won't have to have to introduce you to "feeling guilty about not blogging Liz".

Garrafon Nazi

2009-03-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

Not sure if any of you remember or not, but when I first started my new job back in Canada I had only been in the office 3 weeks before I changed the garrafon (water bottle) 4 times. I bitched about it slightly here. This was out of hand, out of control, and I was over it.

Since then I've been a bit of a Garrafon Nazi in that I will avoid having to change the water bottle at all cost. I feel like I've served my water bottle changing duties in Mexico already about a million times more than everyone else in this office, so I shouldn't have to change it anymore since I'm officially a retired garrafon operative.

I am however, a little horrified at how uneducated and awkward everyone is when I witness some other poor soul replacing the water bottle. Did you know they have no clue they are suppose to wipe the top off with a wet paper towel (and dry it too)? They are completely absentminded about the fact that the water backs up the cooler onto the outside of the water bottle and all the dirt on the outside ends up in your mouth.

So, I've had to educated them on various aspects of water duties. Cleaning the bottle before putting it up, pealing the seal of the top first (lots of people don't know this), and of course, the most graceful and efficient way of picking up the garrafon and topping it over onto the water cooler. To be honest I'm still horrified that they are just not that well educated about the whole thing.

Yet, I carry on in my garrafon nazi-ism.

In fact, yesterday, oh how this makes me giggle. Ok so yesterday *giggles*, I went to get some water. I noticed that the garrafon was empty. But me, in all my garrafon knowledge, I knew that there may be enough water already inside the water cooler to give me the amount I needed.

So I drained the water cooler out and filled my bottle to the top. I looked around, smiled and contently went and sat back at my desk.

Funny how such a stupid thing could make me feel so satisfied. But like I said, I'm retired...

...muahahahahaha!

An Apple A Day...

2009-03-11T12:54:00.000-07:00

You’d think that in a country where medical is essentially free that most people would be taking advantage of this. Well, it’s not EXACTLY free as I currently pay about $60 a month. So I “sort of” pay something and it’s enough to remind me that I can pretty much go to the doctor as much as I want for that price, have surgery, go to emergency….whatever.

Fortunately, I am pretty healthy and don’t have to go to the doctor often. I’m lucky if I have to go twice a year (at least here….in the place with few parasites and such). Unfortunately, I don’t feel like I’m getting my moneys worth but I suppose that’s ok since I have the security in knowing that IF I do need some major medical assistance, I wouldn’t have to fork out any additional money for it. It’s the $60 dollars a month and that’s that. Those with lower income do not have to pay at all and the price we pay is based on our salary.

Something has been bugging me about this though. Everyone in my office has been getting sick. This happens. We are all contained in a relatively small place and if you happen to sneeze or cough or touch things, you could get sick.

In Mexico, I often joked about the fact that whenever you went to the doctor you were always sure to get 3 prescriptions….for no matter what illness you had. It was usually an antibiotic, an anti-inflammatory and then something like advil, or something to help you sleep or a cream of some sort….or perhaps acidophilus.

It’s not unknown that in Mexico, doctors love to hand out antibiotics like candy. This isn’t exactly a good thing. Everyone knows that we are just creating stronger, more resistant strains of viruses/bacteria by doing this. And to make it worse, they often blindly prescribe antibiotics……which can be very very bad. I know this because I ended up with Bell’s Palsy (facial paralysis) because a doctor did not test the type of bacteria to prescribe the proper antibiotic to fight off the infection (I’m still bitter).

Anyhow, getting to the point. Here, people can go to the doctor every day if they wanted to (although they could get reported for visiting without just cause) and not have to pay for it. Here you can go to the doctor and not worry about how much your xrays will cost or the fact that you need to get rehydrated and stay over night. You don’t have to worry about all the money. You can go, you can get treated and it’s EASY.

So explain to me WHY WHY WHY in the hell all of these sick people, who keep getting sick over and over, and keep coming to work, to pass on the bug and repeat the process, don’t they go to the fucking doctor to get some drugs to get better FOR GOOD? It’s FREE. WHY? What is wrong with them?

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with them. My fellow countrypeople are spoiled and don’t realize what a great thing it is to be able to go to the doctor, or the emergency without having to call their insurance to get approved first, or without having to fork out money for a doctor who probably sucks and is just going to write you 3 prescriptions that you can guess on your own anyway. They don’t realize that the doctor they are visiting is most likely CAPABLE of diagnosing the problem correctly.

But they can’t help you if you don’t go see them and you clearly are a shitty judge of your illness if you keep getting sick.

So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Just go to the doctor so I don’t have to get sick and go to the doctor for you!

Mexico = Warped Zone

2009-03-04T14:47:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is, or how to explain it, but it almost seems like my life in Mexico almost didn't happen. Like it wasn't really real.

It also seems as if I lost a chunk of time.....the time I was in Mexico.

I swear to god it must be some sort of warped time zone or something where the rest of the world carries on with time normally, but if if you live in Mexico, it pretty much stays the same. Sure you can have experiences, make friends, do all sorts of things but most people I know in Mexico have had the same job they had when I met them, have the same friends, do the same things, have the same problems.

My life was like that too. I had the same job, I had the same friends (although I certainly added to the mix), I did the same things (go to the gym, go to work, go to the beach, get drunk, etc. etc.), had the same problems (some got worse than others).

Now that I'm back home, it's like there is a chunk of time missing for me....almost LOST.

I find myself freaking out about time passing too quickly, people that won't be in my life much longer because they are getting old, ME getting old....it being too late to do some of the things I SHOULD have done when I was younger. Feeling like I need to hurry up and do shit before I die.

What the hell is going on? It's so strange. And the people here, my friends and family, when we discuss life or the past, a chunk is missing for them too, so all the stories they have reflect to my time BEFORE Mexico and it's just freakin odd. And I look at them and it's as if so much has happened to them while I was away and yet, I'm where I was when I left off.

I find myself going back to the same state of mind I was in BEFORE I moved to Mexico and find that those memories almost stand out more for me than the memories I have in Mexico.

I can't quite put my finger on it exactly except that I either feel like I'm not really here or that I am but, I hit my head or something and things have rearranged themselves.

Whatever the case, I think I'm the only one around here that feels like this and often when people bring up stories from the past I'm like, did you not realize that was over 10 years ago???

It's strange. It's warped. I can't figure it out . But maybe I should just not worry about it cuz time is ticking away and I may not have all the time I need to get to where I think I should be, even though I am not sure where I should be exactly.

Oh brother.

Jai ho.

Instead of ME Babbling....

2009-03-02T22:16:00.000-08:00

....Listen to this awesome song done from the Slum Dog Millionaire hit. I totally love it and want to groove with it:

On that note, I'm going to escape now because I'm so embarrassed I have not kept up with this thing I call my blog.

Life.

It happens.

What can I say?

Jai Ho!

PS Go see the movie if you haven't. Thumbs up.

Feliz Guey!

2009-02-17T09:45:00.001-08:00

Hi! It's Me! I'm still alive!

2009-02-11T10:13:00.000-08:00

I've been sucking at this whole blog thingy lately. I apologize. It's not that I haven't had anything blog worthy to blog about it's just that my life has become so much more busier since I've started back at muay thai kickboxing. Plus I feel like my weekends are more complete too and I'm getting out more and doing things. This is both good and bad. Good because being productive is a positive thing. Bad because my blog suffers and I don't get as much ME time as I would like.

I've been tossing around the notion of adding another day to the week. So it will be an 8 day week where we still work 5 days but instead of just 2 days off, we will get 3. Three days is more of what I think I require. I think we should all make this happen so if you want to come on board....let me know!

I'm working on another photo face. You know, besides the standard tongue out and hand signs:

I kinda fell in love with my new face after I did my Blog Police post. It looks a little something like this:

I started working on it last week. Here is my first intentional stab at it. What do you think?

Check out the difference in hair color! Oh wow. Which do you prefer? Darker or lighter? My family prefers darker because well...that's me. But I went lighter in Mexico for various reasons. One of them was that a hairdresser fucked up my hair and I kinda just went with it. The other reason is that dark colors are hard to maintain in a sunny place.

Anyhow, if you're wondering how things are, they honestly are pretty good. I can honestly say that I feel happy and this is really really big for me. While the partying in Mexico and days on the beach brought me lots of fun and happiness, it was only fun while I was doing it and didn't make me happy for the rest of the week. Overall, I'm just generally more content and relaxed and this is a good thing.

But I am missing my Cancun friends, I really am. They were around during a crazy time in my life and now that I feel like I'm "me" again....I wish they were around to see it.

Anyhow. I don't do mushy shit well so I'm gonna go now.

Peace.

Ice Cold Coconuts

2009-02-03T12:13:00.000-08:00

I was walking home last night in the dark after work and I noticed a coconut sitting on the grass.

I kept my eye on it as I approached it and thought, oh, it must have fallen out of the tree. No big deal. What a pretty coconut.

Then I heard something.

“Hey dimwit! There are no palm trees here with coconuts and there are no coconuts just laying around!”

I looked closer at my dear coconut and I realized it was actually the remnants of a snow ball that “appeared” to look like a coconut.

Dios mio.

I’m OBVIOUSLY still integrating.

I Love You Tiffany

2009-01-25T10:33:00.000-08:00

I got my first Tiffany's bracelet from my ex. It was actually a very happy time and I love the bracelet. Later he got me that huge chunky Tiffany's necklace with the heart on it when we went for lunch one day . I loved that too but it is huge and chunky and you have to be particular about what you wear it with.

Then I got super duper lucky when my ex employer/family gave me a Tiffany's bracelet as a goodbye gift. It's gorgeous just as well and I love to wear it.

I love jewelry that has meaning to it. It doesn't have to be Tiffany's it could be a 2 dollar bracelet from the corner store, but it has to have meaning behind it and most of my jewelry does, cheap or expensive, gifts or something I bought for myself.

For a while now I've been wanting to purchase my own Tiffany's necklace instead of waiting for someone to buy it for me. With this song on my mind, how could I not?:

Plus, as my New Year's resolution, I'm doing what I can to make myself a better person both mentally and physically. And as you've seen, I've been taking a bit of a beating physically. My shins are all messed up and now my forearms are just as black and blue.

Since I feel like I'm getting somewhere, I decided to use the money my dad gave me for xmas to buy myself a Tiffany's necklace because frankly I deserve it.

I went to get it last week but they were out of the silver and frankly I didn't have an extra grand to buy the gold. So "Luc" at Tiffany's with his sexy accent ordered the silver for me and I went and got it yesterday.

As soon as he put it on I fell in love and knew we were suppose to be together.

Here she is in all her glory:

PS It says "Tiffany & Co." on each of the loops. Can't get Tiffany's without it saying Tiffany's!

I love it!!!

The Gum. Respect It.

2009-01-21T12:54:00.000-08:00

I’m one of those people that is really anal about carrying gum with them.

I like the sense of security that gum gives me. It’s there if I need to freshen my breath, it’s there. If I have a bad taste in my mouth, it’s there. If I need an oral fixation, it’s there. If I have a heavy night of partying and crash at a “friends” and need to fix that nasty cat mouth in the morning, the gum…..it’s there.

I like specific types of gum and I’m choosey about which brands I like. But the gum I’m into these days are Trident Splash with the mint explosion, or the chocolate mint or even cinnamon (do not put on privates) and bubble gum for fun! This is a science to me. I like what I like and I choose wisely and I always make sure I have back up and multiple flavors. I’m a gum snob if you will.

I know that it’s common ground for people to just randomly ask for YOUR gum and I politely hand it over since I know how important this little gold mine is that originates from a tree. Share the love. It’s all good.

People also often get gum envy when you break open the metal cover and crackle the plastic. They usually ask you for a piece before it even hits your mouth. Again, I politely hand it over but am slightly irritated since I know they don’t NEED it…..they just WANT it.

And then there are those who love gum just as much as I do, but that don’t come well prepared. EVER. It’s these people that get under my skin, or all up in my gum-ness.

I know gum is cheap, and I know I’m not going to go broke by handing it out. But people, it’s a matter of principle. It’s not the money, it’s not the greediness. I don’t expect you to have gum ALL the time like me. But what I do expect is for you to buy it for yourself every once in a while instead of relying on me to hand it over to you whenever you feel like it. It makes me feel like the gum I’ve purchased isn’t respected.

Ya’ll need to respect The Gum.

The Gum provides much pleasure and solves many things like bad breath. You are probably going to eat something with garlic or onion in it or are going to feel nervous and want to chomp on something continuously. So how about this.

Buy yourself some gum.

I do.

And remember.

Respect the gum.

Tourist In Jail Intro

2009-01-16T15:13:00.000-08:00

There was this dude who was spewing at the mouth and getting all up in my amiga's face:

I think I made the same face too!

And then he did this:

To Be Continued.....

So How's Kickboxing Going?

2009-01-13T21:53:00.001-08:00

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It's going freakin GREAT! Glad you asked!

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Now if my legs weren't already ugly, this certainly makes them a whole shitload uglier!

Honestly, I'm in pain and my body hurts but I'm so glad to be back. Things are actually falling into place faster than I thought and I am really enjoying the fact that I can hit things/people and not get deported/go to Mexican jail* for it.

Perhaps the next picture will be of my new six pack (when I get it that is).

* I actually put a tourist in jail once.....boy that's a story....but probably won't tell it here. Muahahahaha!

Who Bugs Me More?

2009-01-08T11:45:00.001-08:00

There's a couple at the gym that annoy the hell out of me but after seeing them on Tuesday night, I realized that I'm not sure who annoys me more. The girl? Or is it the guy?

The guy thinks he's hot shit. He's got the macho man attitude and you can tell he thinks he's god's gift to both men and women. He's cocky and barely works out but when he does he does a lot of huffing and puffy and makes ugly faces in the mirror like he's lifting 500 lbs. Guess what bud? I lift more than your sorry short ass, so quit the antics!

Then there is his girlfriend, if you want to call her that. I personally think she's ugly (I'm nice right?) and I think she might know this too, except she covers it up with the fact that she wears D&G hats and velour Baby Phat sweats to the gym while she holds her designer purse and trots along in her fancy Puma running shoes. Doesn't she know you shouldn't be mixing brands like that? She's also dyed her hair some crappy blonde color and she's wearings 5 lbs of makeup to cover "something up". She primps in front on the mirror wayyyyyyy too much and I really never see her work out.

What I do see princess doing is following 10 feet behind her boyfriend who rarely acknowledges that she's even there. Suddenly Miss Princess is no longer Miss Princess anymore, but more like Miss Slave, as she struggles to keep up with her master who walks all over the gym, chatting it up with dudes to look cool whilst making faces in the mirror when picking up 10 lb weights to do NOTHING. (TALK ABOUT A RUN ON SENTENCE!)

The boyfriend likes to have these very intense, very closely spoken conversations with all the bigger dudes in the gym (no doubt discussing how to get roids) and never not never not even once does he even introduce his girlfriend. She just hangs out in a corner waiting for him to be done before he rushes off to some other part of the gym and she follows.....again.....10 feet behind.

I've seen a tiny bit of affection between the two. Mr. Man tells his girlfriend what exercises to do and then as she leaves he smacks her flat ass as to say, "That's my bitch". When she's done, she will come back and give him a half hug where he will take her hat off and put it on backwards. Oh how cute is that? VOMIT! Before she can get annoyed with this, she checks herself in the mirror before realizing, "God I'm so HOT!" and proceeds to fix her hair in a fashion that was the exact same styling as it was two seconds earlier. (You'd never know this from her reactions in the mirror though....you'd really think she went to a hairstylist in Beverly Hills and got styled by the best of the best.)

So you see, with all that goes on between these two, I'm confused as to whom I should dislike more?

Is it the cocky son of a bitch who is obviously so insecure by his small penis size that he has to feel better by constantly disrespecting his woman? Or is it the princess who only likes herself because she wears expensive attire and is respectful enough to let her man lead her wherever she goes?

I don't know man. This is a tough one. You tell me!

Snow Dancing

2009-01-06T10:25:00.001-08:00

My sister sent me this email the other day and it was too good not to share with you:

So I woke up this morning, all groggy-eyed and sleepy to look out the window at the weather and here's what I saw. Now, typically, the only people I tend to see are eager-beaver morning joggers pounding the pavement on Point Grey Road in their Sugoi spandex running tights and Vancouver-quintessential, water repellent running jackets. With our snowfall of late, there wasn't a jogger in sight. Certainly not a surprise, I thought to myself, especially with all the black ice accumulated on the sidewalks over the past two weeks. There was, however, this crazy chick wearing a strapless Victorian-style red velvet dress prancing around the front yard. It is unfortunate that my point-and-shoot didn't quite capture the spectacle or vibrancy of the red dress against the pure, white, fresh-driven snow. It was pretty trippy to see firsthand so I took a few snapshots knowing you might not believe me. Who said the West End gets all the weirdos?? I'm not sure how you spent your morning, but I spent mine drinking coffee, watching the crazy chick twirling around my yard. Maybe the malbec I drank last night was laced with hallucinogens. Who knows. But this is one morning in the life of this Kitsilano girl.

We Made It!

2009-01-02T12:10:00.001-08:00

Another year is gone and here we are. Get yourselves ready for a fantastic year! I'm serious. If you've made those resolutions, I expect you to be using this weekend to prepare yourself for them. Start now and don't let go of your plans.

And on that happy note, can I just say that I've freakin had it with van drivers? They all drive SLOW as shit and it's just driving me INSANE. But in a good way. Because as requested, I will not stop my bitchlogging for this new year. I will simply continue with it.

Amen.

Happy MIA Holidays!

2008-12-31T12:14:00.000-08:00

I am getting freakin good at this whole disappearing act! The good thing though, is that I am apparently not the only one because my google reader is not as full as it would normally be!

So what's been going on?

Well I like point form. Point form is fun. So lets do it that way.

I went drunk bowling. Drunk bowling is the bomb. Apparently I also sent drunk text messages and took drunk pictures as well. I forgot about them too until I checked my phone's "outbox" and had several giggles to myself about it. Here is one of my fabulous drunk photos (Answer Becky):

While out drunk bowling I realized something very interesting. If someone doesn't understand me, I automatically refer to Spanish. I've done this several times but never made the connection until now. I was trying to have a conversation with a Japanese guy that did not speak nor understand Engrish very well and I kept busting out in Spanish to him, thinking that he would get it. I'm not in Mexico, this rule does not apply anymore....what is my problem? Alcohol? I think NOT!

We got some snow. Or rather A LOT. This is not normal for Vancouver. But dump it did. I am lucky to have not had any driving issues and the one time I did I got pushed out pretty easily by a friend. So we had a white xmas. White xmas' are cool. I was into it. And apparently, my terror kitty Moco had a ball watching the flakes come down. Just look at the intensity in her eyes:

And this was outside my work window on xmas eve. Cool view right?

I spent xmas eve and xmas day with my family. It was interesting to say the least. Having celebrated it so many years without my family, I have to say, I'm on the fence about the whole thing. Having lived in Mexico, I think there is a more relaxed feeling about the holiday than what I experienced here. In Mexico it's about music and people laughing and talking and drinking and letting loose, having a good time. My xmas here was situated around a table (both at mom's and dad's) and I honestly felt restricted and a little strained. It was different for me and my plans of hot chocolate and Bailey's kinda went out the window since I was out late the night before and since dinner can last for at least 5 hours at an Italian household. Yeah, I'm not kidding about the 5 hours!

I like a boy but he's going away for 7 weeks. Actually I know him from back in the day (just friends then) and we have reconnected (yay Facebook). I'm learning a lot about how normal people behave and react. You'd think that after a year of being free from dickwad that I would have figured things out and that it would be smooth sailing. Not so much. Lots of things flow through my head but at least I'm smart enough to keep them there and discuss them with good friends who quickly remind me that he's behaving like a normal nice guy would. So in his mind, I'm rather normal. I'd like to keep it that way. Anyhow, off he goes traveling for a bit and I really hope he has a fabulous time. In the meantime I will continue to work on myself and reverse the fuckedupedness that's been going on in my head. That's a good word by the way (fuckedupedness). I encourage you all to use it.

Tonight is New Years Eve and I shall happily shed 2008. Not so much because it was a bad year. It wasn't. But a lot of things went on and instead of reflecting on those things, I just want to wish myself a great 2009. The planets are aligned in my favor and frankly, it's about fucking time.

Happy New Year my fabulous friends. I love you all. You rock like rock stars and are the sunshine in my day. Seriously it's true. I mean it. Thank you to my friends who have stuck by me in my retardness. I know I'm not always a walk in the park but you get me through it and it means the world to me. Thank you. You really do know who you are and I don't have to name you. So just accept this as a thank you.

So here's to a freaking great 2009. Strive for the best possible YOU ever and all will fall in place for a happy and healthy year.

Muak!

Hugs and kisses.

P.S. Sorry to all my FB friends who have already seen the above pics. I have been sucky at the picture taking thing lately and frankly, I have to RECYCLE!

Brain Freeze

2008-12-23T15:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a snowy filled day and though the road conditions on the main roads weren't bad, they were certainly not good on side streets.

Since I have huevos, I drove up the side street where I park my car at the sky train station and promptly pulled into a snowy park space. My wheels began to spin in one spot and so I just decided to back up my car and leave it where it was and deal with the outcome of it later.

I got out of the car and tried to kick away the snow from my tires since it might freeze up and later prove to be a more difficult challenge to clear.

I hopped on the sky train wondering if I would be able to get out of my parking spot and make it to a main street. I often read blogs via my cell phone while I'm on the train and when I went to do that I realized I was on my last power bar and forgot my charger at home. So I quickly turned my cell phone off to conserve energy.

What an idiot and how stupid am I to sacrifice my last life line like that should I need to call someone later on to bail me out!

So all throughout the day I kept my phone off, only turning it on momentarily here and there to check messages and tell people that the phone has been kept off to secure that I would have power later if I needed it.

After work I got to my car, warmed it up, cleared as much snow as possible with my fake ugg boots and got in to give it a try.

There were a couple of scary moments but I believe I am "one with the snow" because I got out A-OK without any problems and felt super chingon about it.

I proceeded to turn my cell phone on and text message my Facebook status to let everyone know that I got out ok since I pretty much told everyone that day that I may have gotten myself stuck, to anyone who would listen.

The best part about all of this is that this morning when I was taking a shower I remembered something.

I have a charger in my car and could have simply charged my phone up if I needed to call for help.

How's that for having a frozen brain?

Blog Police

2008-12-20T21:29:00.000-08:00

Supermarket Plastic Divider Space Hog

2008-12-18T20:26:00.000-08:00

You know at the supermarket how when you're at the cash you can put that plastic divider after your stuff so that the cashier knows when to total things up for you?

It's also very handy when you've got lots of stuff and you want to get them on the conveyor thingy so that you're not stuck there like a jerk holding up the line.

Well I went the supermarket after work today to grab a few things and there was a dude before me. He had like two things and they were right by the cash.

Like any polite citizen he grabbed the plastic divider and put it down on the little conveyor belt.

But Mr. Polite Citizen soon became Mr. Supermarket Plastic Divider Space Hog when he put the plastic divider not just after his stuff, but way over where I had started to put my stuff making it difficult for me to add more stuff to the conveyor belt.

Confused?

Me too.

That's why I have a diagram. Now you too can see why the hell I'm still dumbfounded by the "this is my empty space on the conveyor belt, I'm not going to share it with you" attitude.

I'm not sure how much he paid for "the gynormous amount of space" on the conveyor belt, but I sure hope the cashier charged him DOUBLE!

MIA

2008-12-16T14:38:00.001-08:00

I think I've been MIA for a bit on the blog scene. Usually at first, it's because I don't feel the urge to blog. Then when it lingers it's mostly because I'm busy or have a lot on my mind or there's lots going on that I just don't feel like sharing. :)

But here are some random thoughts so you don't think I've gone into hiding:

It snowed Saturday night while I was at my company xmas party. It was really really pretty. But you know, it's really cold now and I'm not digging it so much. I mean I can tolerate some cold but we are in the minus for heaven's sake and I'm not up at the cabin covered from head to toe in a snowsuit running around with the snowmobile! Vancouver is NEVER like this so I'm hell-o-confused!

I'm disappointed in a male friend for not respecting the natural friendship boundaries we've been able to maintain for so long. My gut has been telling me for a long time that he wanted to cross those boundaries and I was ok with that knowing that he hasn't made any attempts to cross them. Until he actually crossed the boundaries. I'm thinkin, not so cool.

I reconnected with someone I knew from way back in the day. We were more acquaintances back then, but have developed a friendship and I'm excited to see where this goes.

I don't know why but I often find myself the middle man in situations I'd rather not me. People end up coming to me with their problems or complaints and I end up in a sticky place getting stressed out about something that is not my problem. I like to help but don't stick me in the middle. That's all I'm asking.

My 3 month probation at work is up and they would like to put me in a position I'm not too fond of. It threw me into a bit of a tail spin trying to figure out what to do. There are opportunities for me to do what I want to do within the company and I have decided that when I meet to discuss, that I will have to go with my heart and pitch that to them. While people think I am capable of doing what they are asking, it just doesn't interest me like it should.(Boy that sounds so simplified after the drama last night!)

Remember I mentioned I wasn't a fan of the cold? Yeah, neither is my poor little sun catching Diesel. Twice now on walks out he's been so frozen he couldn't continue and I've had to carry him back home. I am limiting our walks out now and I can tell that he is thanking me for it. If he needs to go he's pad trained so we should both stress out less about this whole situation.

This is my first Christmas back home with the family in longer than I've been living in Cancun. It is a little stressful and confusing and the whole gift thing is a bit of a nightmare. But I think I'll figure it out somehow with some Bailey's and hot chocoloate with marshmallows (of course).

I already twittered this but I have plans to return to the Martial Arts in January. It's not going to be easy getting back into it considering how hard it's going to be to fill my OWN shoes. But I will do it. And most importantly, I will get to hit things and won't have to go to jail for it.

Being back around family has been fun and interesting and stressful. I have got a big brother and a big sister and here they are in true form (Isn't it strange how we don't look alike?):

Here's hoping your holiday season is going smoothly! And remember. When in doubt....add a touch of Baileys (no I don't work for them)!

Thunder!

2008-12-09T16:23:00.000-08:00

I think it's funny that I associate the sound of the trains below our offices with thunder....something I was use to hearing in Cancun all the time.

It took me a while to figure out that no, it was not thunder, just trains going by slowly down below.

Maybe I should have twittered that?

Oh well too late now.

A blog it is!

Commonality & Connections

2008-12-08T15:51:00.001-08:00

On Saturday night I went to a friend of a friend's house to watch the Oscar de La Hoya - Manny Pacquiao fight.

My friend informs me that I should like her friend because he's Mexican and that we should have a lot in common with me having living in Mexico and all.

In retrospect, I thought it was funny that she mentioned that. I think it's natural for people to find commonalities in eachother so that they can make some sort of instant bond and it appeared she was trying to do that in some way. Or rather, make me feel comfortable about going to some stranger's house.

The fight itself was very entertaining and pretty interesting to tell you the truth. That Manny is one fast dude and it seemed that after the 1st round, Oscar was pretty much defeated.

But what was more interesting to me was the bond that I did make with my new Mexican friend. Actually, it was a bond with his cat, his dog and his girlfriend too. Let me explain why.

My new Mexican friend is dating a Canadian girl and together they have adopted not only a street cat that they found in Mexico, but also a dog. Whenever they go to Mexico on vacation they manage to try and help and rescue whatever street animals they can. The last time they were there, the found they cutest Mexican white kitten with pink ears and brought her back to their Vancouver household.

The time before that, they managed to find a poor malnourished street pup who was the runt of the litter and therefore in pretty bad shape. She has some nerve damage to her eyes but so far she is doing well. They took really good care of her and when she was well enough they brought her back to Vancouver as well. What's interesting about this is that this dog is a Xoloitzquintle. Which happens to be a Mayan, hairless dog. Lisa Love would be very jealous. Here is an idea of what she looks like. Her name is Pica:

So here I am in some strangers house and they have a Mexican cat like me (ok well I have 2). They also have a Mexican dog like me and this Mexican dog is from the region I was living in. This stranger is also Mexican, so we were able to discuss Mexico and culture in a mutually understanding way. My new Mexican stranger friend also made some seriously kick ass salsa and guacamole for all of us to snack on and to add to the commonality, his Canadian girlfriend had a good supply of Nibs for us (one of my favorite candies).

Needless to say, it was a fab night and I felt really comfortable in thier home, playing with the Xoloitzquintle, kitten and shooting the shit with people that seemed like old friends.

So I guess, there really is something to having something in common with someone else. The fact that we had so much in common made things so much more enjoyable and friendly and since I truly believe I have 2 homes now (Canada & Mexico), it helped bridge the gap and connect the distance between the two.

Happy Anniversary to ME!

2008-12-05T10:25:00.000-08:00

I usually don't get too personal on my blog (unless of course I'm talking about laser hair removal and cinnamon down there), but today I just HAVE to say this to myself.

_____________

Dear You,

First of all, congratulations for being such a strong, sexy and smart woman.

Second, you need to celebrate. Exactly one year ago today, you uttered your last words to a son of a bitch who never deserved to have someone like you in his life. You turned around, and walked away, and no matter what he did to try and get a reaction out of you, you never looked back.

It has been a long, tough road, but, YOU DID IT. Good for you, you are the bomb.

Yay for you!

Love,
Me

P.S. This finger is for fuckhead:

_____________

Ahhhh I feel so much better now!

Cold Tears

2008-12-03T10:52:00.001-08:00

Photo courtesy of Flickr

It's really not as dramatic as it may sound. "Cold Tears" sounds like it should be the name of a song or something.

It's not.

Since I haven't been in cold weather for a really long time, my eyes are FREAKING out.

In the morning when it's a bit windy and cold, my eyes say "NOoooooo not again!!!! This is torture!!!", and they cry.

I often have tears streaming down my face as I take the dog out, walk to the skytrain, then walk from they skytrain to work. It doesn't happen at night, only in the morning and I'd like to know when my eyeballs are going to acclimate because this is really obnoxious.

And it ruins my makeup.

So eyeballs.....please catch up with the cold weather and get use to it. I do not want to have to wear goggles. People are already wondering if I'm "ok" and if I wear goggles....they will certainly know that I'm just plain nuts.

cinnamon down there

2008-11-28T14:24:00.001-08:00

"Cinnamon down there" was also how someone found me on THIS blog.

That's awesome.

I'm totally contributing to the internets for sure.

I hope you found what you were looking for Mr./Mrs. Cinnamon down there! More than anything, I hope you found your cinnamon....down there......

You might want to keep it up high somewhere.....might be easier to find!

how do i know if my stolen car is in mexico

2008-11-28T14:06:00.000-08:00

Like my fellow bloggers, I am always interested in my stats and how people come to land on my blog. The following search term took someone to my Mexico "Way" blog:

"how do i know if my stolen car is in mexico"

I don't think I've ever written about driving your stolen car in Mexico. And I don't think I've driven your stolen car in Mexico, but if I in fact did purchase and drive your stolen car in Mexico, I apologize.

I hope you find it.

Fall Photos

2008-11-26T21:09:00.000-08:00

GU-ROSS!

2008-11-24T21:50:00.000-08:00

There's this dude at the gym that I've noticed.

I haven't noticed him because he's hot, or sexy, or because he's ripped and has big muscles. I haven't noticed him because I want to bone him or because he has this special aura about him that I can't resist.

I've noticed this guy because he's gross.

He's always sweaty and dripping. His clothes are soaked through, and there are drops dribbling down his legs from up under his shorts (can I get an extra "gu-ross!"). If he just stood there and did nothing I might even accept the grossness. But no. He goes from one piece of equipment to another, to another, to another, (he must have equipment ADD), and spreads the wet grossness all over for your passing the grossnes on pleasure.

He does not wipe up after himself like he should. Or use the fancy spray to disinfect personal grossnesss away. No. Instead he uses an overused gross looking shredded piece of paper towel to DAB HIS FOREHEAD ("insert swearword here in CAPS").

Are you kidding me? You're dabbing your forehead after you've spread your nasty juice everywhere?

(Using the word "juice" takes this to an all time disgusting level high.)

So it doesn't end there.

Because just as I think he is getting less gross from dabbing his forehead, he gets even grosser and disgusting-er.

He walks over to the disinfectant spray bottle, looks around to make sure no one's watching him (I am though cuz I'm sick like that), goes into the corner and lifts his shirt. He sprays all up inside it like it's fucking deoderant or body spray. Spray spray spray like way more times than necessary.

But.

IT. DOES. NOT. STOP. THERE.

He pulls out the front of his shorts and sprays his (ewwww barf hack spew) privates!!!!!

Ok so but it doesn't stop THERE EITHER!

He then pulls out the back of his pants and sprays his ass crack!

What is most disturbing is the number of sprays he sprayed on his privates.

So then, he puts down the bottle and walks away while disinfectant spray mixed with swet and and gross-ness-i-dont-even-want-to-think-about-what-else is in that gross withhes brew running down his legs.

And then he takes his grossly overused shredded paper towel that is all wet and skanky and dabs his forehead.

Uh huh yeah.

It's true.

I can't even make this shit up.

For Bluestreak

2008-11-22T19:04:00.000-08:00

You fucking won!

Newsflash!

2008-11-21T09:45:00.000-08:00

A construction worker said "Good Morning" to me on my way to work.

He didn't make long kissy sounds followed by a disgusting low toned, "MMmmmm Mamacita Rica" nor did he whistle or a click his mouth or undress me with his eyes.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

And confusing all at the same time. I mean, did he not think I was hot? LOL!

So Um.....

2008-11-19T21:18:00.000-08:00

.....Why the heck do people keep saying "A JACKET ALREADY!?" when referring to Diesel and his (warm little blue) jacket (with hood and white fur around the edges) when I take him out for a walk?

Are they clueless that it's F'N FREEZING outside? Are they not aware it's winter!? They have a jacket on.....and gloves....and a scarf....so WTF? Back off and leave my cute little doggie and his blue jacket with hood and white fur around the edges ALONE!

OH and speaking of winter, why do people keep saying, "Oh! HA HA HA! Wait until it's REALLY winter!".

What the F*&#$ is it NOW? As I say, "Bleep it's cold out!".

Too much weed in Vancouver is all I'm sayin!

C.L.U.E.L.E.S.S!

What I Came Home To Today:

2008-11-17T19:49:00.000-08:00

Nice right? Let me give you a hint as to who did it.

You can run but you cannot hide!

Here she is inspecting her work:

F'n Moco!

I Couldn't Resist

2008-11-17T12:32:00.000-08:00

Thanks Heather!

I was curious to see how much I swore on my "Mexico Way" Blog and this blog. I am totally going to assume that I beat Heather out, but it seems she wins!

This is my Mexico Way blog:

And my current My Guey blog:

You rock Heather. You are totally my swear word idol!

Vancouver Smells Like Pot

2008-11-14T13:22:00.001-08:00

I'm sure those of you who have no interest in Madonna will be happy to know that I'm done with the Madonna pics and vids!

Now I'm back to my regular complaining self.

Vancouver smells like pot. Not all the time and it's not everywhere, but if you had to ask me what Vancouver smelled like, I'd probably say something like, "Well it's nice most of the time and there is a crisp, clean, foresty flowerly smell to it, and then other times, it smells like weed. And if it's not weed, it might be a skunk, but sometimes it's very hard to distinguish the difference, because lets face it, really good, really potent pot smells skunky.".

For the record, I do not smoke pot. I don't smoke regular cigarrettes either, and I don't know, I'm just not that into the weed (just like "I'm just not that into you"). It's cool if you're into weed and all that, but for me, it just doesn't tickle my fancy. But living in Vancouver has taught me to recognize the smell of weed and the ability to identify it and so, I notice it. Especially since I've moved back.

I'm also able to identify the smell of shit. Because lets face it folks, Cancun smells like shit in certain areas. It's a fact. So don't get your panties all up in a knot about dissing Cancun etc. etc bla bla blah. Cancun smells like Caca in certain areas because of the fancy open sewage system they have. Yum yum. It's true. And if you have never smelled it, then you might want to get your nose checked, or enjoy the lack of shit smell while you can.

Sometimes that caca smell will vary slightly because it is the smell of rotting matter in the lagoon. So in certain areas of the hotel zone (by the Mayafair Plaza) you will smell a nice funk. It's caca-smelling. From what I've read, heard and been told, there is a lack of oxygen in the lagoon which makes it difficult to naturally break down any biological matter. I've also been told that Cancun sewage is dumped directly into the lagoon. This makes me feel ill and I am choosing not to believe this horrifying rumor. Anyhow, the build up of guck in the lagoon coupled with the intense heat and humidity makes for some yummy cooking olores.

Back in the day when we would hit Azucar for Saturday night salsa dancing, there was always that nice caca smell in that same area and it was more noticeable during certain times of the year. I would always say out loud, "Mmmmmmmm tacos de mierda!" and taxi cab drivers would get a chuckle out of the white girl with the extra sensitive nasal passage and lack of verbal filtering.

So it looks like I've traded the smell of caca for the smell of weed. I think this would make most people happy and I suppose I should be happy too, since second hand weed can be almost as reactive as smoking it yourself...depending on how enclosed the room you are in. So why does it bug me?

Remember when I said that good weed smells kinda skunky? Have you ever heard how good B.C. Bud is? If you're not familiar with it, lets just say, that British Columbia is known for having some really good quality ganja and if you haven't tried it, you might wanna. So anyways, if it's good weed, which it is, I get to smell skunk on a regular basis. Not my idea of fun.

I smell it in my car.....on the skytrain....at work (comes in through the porous brick wall behind me), .......at concerts....on the street.....on people's clothes.....in people's houses....anywhere really.

A good perfume smells good. But if someone puts too much on and you have to smell it too often, it gets to be annoying. Ya hear me?

So.......what does your city smell like?

Cookies? Urine? Pastries? Cheese? Tobacco? Coffee? Fish?

Madonna Vancouver Video

2008-11-12T21:15:00.000-08:00

Ok.

As promised, here are my clips (put all together for you) of the Madonna concert.

If you pay close attention, on one of the clips, I follow my boyfriend with the camera and completely forget about Madonna.

And um, plug your ears cuz you can hear me singing in some of the clips, especially the last one. :)

ENJOY!

Madonna Vancouver Pics

2008-11-04T21:00:00.000-08:00

As promised, here are the concert pics that I took.

I had such a great time and cannot believe the stamina of this 50 year old woman....uh...not to mention her extremely toned and fit body. I couldn't see any fat on her! And believe me....I was close and looking really really hard! lol.

Anyhow, the highlights of the show were when she came out in this kick ass white care (see pics), when she got pissed at someone for smoking, and when she said, "That fucking clock has been staring at me all night long" (digital clock at the back of the stadium...counting down time) and after she did the song "She's Not Me"she totally psycho spazzed out (no video I too busy watching in amazement....seems I'm not the only psycho thrasher out there! :) ). Oh, and singing "Like A Virgin" with her was pretty cool too (video to come).

OK so I'll shut up now so you can look at the pics. ENJOY!:

That's my boyfriend you see Madonna sitting with in the pic above. I let her borrow him for her show. In one of the videos I'm so enamored with him that I followed him with my camera instead of Madonna. LOL. *Blush*

Stay tuned for videos....have to upload them....such a chore....

Pre-Madonna Vancouver

2008-11-02T10:04:00.000-08:00

My new job offered me a free ticket to the Madonna concert as well as a free pass to tag-along VIP style.

I wasn't going to say no! Actually, I was searching tickets online when I received the email asking if I wanted to go. HELL YES!

This was the first time Madonna has come to Vancouver on one of her concert tours and I wondered if it was possible it might be her last (she ain't getting any younger....although she sure looks like she is!).

My sister was also offered a ticket since she is doing some PR for the company so we got to hang out sister style.

The party started out at a private suite and we had champagne and samosas (to eat not drink). You would have thought that everyone had lived in Mexico previously because everyone was late! Which kind of sucked because we had another VIP party to go to at the stadium.

Once everyone arrived, we piled into 3 limos and headed to B.C. Place Stadium. We went straight to the VIP lounge where they played Madonna music and fed us an awesome spread of seafood, specialty pastas, roast beef and fancy desserts. On entrance, they gave us a Madonna postal bag that had a Madonna lollypop in it and a Madonna pen and we got a VIP around the neck pass. Cool little bonus.

Since they only served wine and beer for alcoholic beverages, I didn't have a chance to get my drink on too much. Others on the other hand.....had um...a few.

I got a call from my brother while we were at the pre-party asking where I was sitting (he too went to the concert). I pulled out my tickets and read them out loud. Section A4, Row 24, Seat 14. He said "A4! Holy shit you're close!". I said I don't know we are at the pre-party and we can't see what's going on in the stadium. I then looked at my ticket and it said $576.50. My ticket cost that much money? Holy crap!

We heard an announcement saying that we should take our seats in the stadium and once we re-grouped we started to head down.

The stadium halls were busy and there was a buzz of excitement in the air. There were lots of people dressed up like Madonna and the various personas she has taken on throughout her career. There was the Vogue Madonna, The Bride Madonna, The Material Girl Madonna, The Virgin Madonna, The Praying Madonna.....and the list goes on.

At some point, our group got split up and things were becoming like a mosh pit as everyone was in a hurry to get to their seats. I kept with a couple people from work and hoped the rest would get to their seats on time.

Turns out by total chance, my sister and I got the best seats in the house! We were literally 4th row from the front of the stage. HOLY CRAP! SCORE!

Madonna did not open on time, but thank god she didn't. I am certain she was probably ready, but most people weren't in their seats yet. The line-ups at the beer and cooler stations were pretty long....lol.

Here is the view behind me:

Me and my sis digging our seats:

Suddenly the lights go out and we are greeted by a huge silver "M".

The start of the show begins with lights, sounds, lasers and special effects:

Madonna is coming, Madonna is coming!!!!!

But you'll have to stay tuned for more....

Grapple

2008-10-29T20:06:00.000-07:00

Someone told me that she had a "Grapple" which confused me so I asked her what the hell it was.

She said it's a cross between an apple and a grape.

I became intrigued and wanted to know more. She explained it looked like an apple and had the texture of an apple but tasted like a grape.

I needed to try this shit out because I love grapes and most recently have gotten into apples as well.

So I went to Save-on-Foods where you don't really save much on anything and I bought me 4 Grapples for like 5 frickin buckeroonies. I figured it was worth it because these apples were special!

Guess what folks?

Not so special.

It's an apple that smells like a purple grape scratch'n sniff sticker and taste like a regular boring apple.

Do they think everyone has been smoking crack and that they won't notice? Who's stupid idea was this anyways?

I take that back.

Who's smart idea was this and where can I "ka ching" on the profits?

Photo Credit: Flickr

Paranormal State

2008-10-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

Has anyone out there watched this show on A&E?

It's about a team of paranormal investigators who try to find answers to real-life paranormal activity. This includes sixth-sense experiences, ghost sightings, demonic disturbances, and other strange phenomenon.

I like the show a lot. It can be kind of scary sometimes but most often, in the end, they calm any disturbances and provide answers to those who are seeking them.

Usually, I can watch the show and go to bed no problem. This is mostly because by the end of most of episodes, they solve the problem and tell the haunting ghost to go into the light. They usually end in a half hour and at the end of the show they update you to let you know that there have been no sightings/disturbances since they helped the people with their "problem".

Last night was different though.

Since a young age I have avoided watching movies like Poltergeist & The Exorcist. Anything demonic freaks me the fuck out. Ghosts I can handle. Demons....not so much. I will never watch those movies. Even though I know they are pretty much a joke these days because of the horrible effects, I just can't do it.

So why the hell did I watch last nights episode of Paranormal State when a girl was apparently possessed by a demon? By the way the Demon's name was "6". How NICE.

It must have been one of those train wreck things where I know I shouldn't watch, but I did. It was an hour episode starting at 11pm (STUPID ME STUPID ME!) and I watched every single moment of it.

Crazy shit was going on where words were scratched onto the girl's stomach and back and the demon was entering her body and saying stuff like, "Why would I leave her? She's weak and easy!". Freak me the F out! I am certain I would have been fine if they had exercised the demon and he left the poor girl alone. And well, it seems as though they did. Except at the end of the show they do an update and the words that scrolled across the screen have been haunting me every since.

It said that a few months later, the girl had to be taken to hospital because she was burned with holy water. Which means, the demon came back. And that stresses me out.

So yeah, I didn't sleep worth shit last night. My pets obviously sensed my fear because Diablo slept on the bed with me which she rarely does these days and Diesel was barking at nothing during various points throughout the night. Thanks for the reassurance there Diesel! Moco of course was passed out on my pillow like a bump on a log taking up space.

It's at this point in time where I need to remind you to stay the hell away from things like Ouija Boards, seances, voodoo dolls, Electronic Voice Phenomenon (EVP), and anything else that may be a portal. A portal may even be a painting of a demon on your wall coupled by severe depression and drug addiction, or a tattoo that you think just looks cool but has been used historically as a vortex for witchery. Also, make sure you respect areas such as cemetaries or native indian burial grounds. In other words, don't do silly things like burn voodoo dolls, Oija Boards or have seances in cemetaries while you are smoking dope ok?

Lets hope I can get some sleep tonight.

And if not, I'll just call up these guys:

P.S. For some reason I think the main guy on the show is hot. Don't ask me why. I just do.

Amen.

Moco-Motion

2008-10-24T22:18:00.000-07:00

My Secret

2008-10-20T15:41:00.000-07:00

It’s a good thing there are lots of people out there that are good at keeping you occupied by blogging on a regular basis. Because if you had to rely on just me, I might get fired from my non-paying blogging duties. Don’t get my wrong, I love blogging but I not only need to feel the inspiration to blog, but also need to have the extra time to do so. I have had neither the last week, and I apologize, mostly because I have self imposed guilt over it (that I cannot figure out), and also because maybe you actually noticed and have been yearning for me to bitch about something! (ha ha not)

Lots of my friends are asking me how things are going since I’ve moved back north. I must be really good at adapting, really lucky, or actually really like where I’m living. I think it’s a combination of all of the above because I seem to be doing quite well.

In terms of the basics (housing, furniture, employment), I was pretty lucky. I was able to acquire & set up my apartment relatively easy which was a huge relief. I was able to get some down time in between all the running around to catch up with old friends and be a tourist in my own city (JJ & Marsha visit, Dee 1 day visit). I was able to acquire the job I wanted when I was ready to work, without having to apply to thousands of places and go on hundreds of interviews. So, for all of that, I am thankful because if it was difficult to do any of these, I may have been miserable and returned to Mexico already. (I know that some of you secretly wished this had happened, mostly for your own selfish reasons, and I thank you for that, because I miss being around you too! But alas, I seemed to have figured it out!)

How am I dealing with the weather? So far so good. When I arrived it was summer and I got to spend plenty of time out by the pool. Fall so far has been really beautiful with lots of sun and crisp air. Diesel loves running at the park and I love taking him out. In Cancun he didn’t have anywhere to run freely except the beach, and unfortunately, he didn’t get to run as often as he can now, since I didn’t have the beach as my back yard.

There have only been a few days of rain that I’ve had to deal with and I say, “So what!”. It rains, it’s part of life, and it helps clear out pollution  so that’s a good thing. When it starts raining weeks at a time, I’ll come back and take my words back. Until then, things are ok. It is colder, and I do bitch about it whenever I get the chance. Mostly to my family because I know they wanted me back here and I like to make them feel like it’s their fault it’s cold out. Fact is, my blood is thinner and I feel it more than everyone else. Not to mention, I didn’t exactly move back with tons of warm jeans and sweaters. So I’ve had to fill in the blanks in terms of filling my closet with all things warmer.

That leads me to shopping for clothing. This has been interesting because I’ve struggled with fashion. I will always find a good deal on things so I’m not crying over having to spend money on clothes. What I’m crying about is what the hell is my style anyways???? Since I have to wear completely different clothes than what I’m use to, I don’t know what to buy or how to wear it or what. I’m use to dressing half naked and let me tell you, it’s a lot easier than having to worry about matching coats with shoes with outfits and belts and tights and boots, etc. Lordy. As a result I think I’ve bought some things that aren’t my style at all but had no clue because what do I know?

Shopping for groceries is a whole new topic as well because there are expensive places to shop and cheap places to shop. This has been a learning experience for me. I now know where to buy my vegetables and fruits at (the market by my house….always fresh fresh fresh and always cheap!), my bulk food items, and the rest of my groceries and beauty items.

It seems I have to go to 3 or 4 different locations which is no different from what I did in Cancun, but it took me a while to figure out WHICH ones to go to and as a result, I probably wasted a lot of money and a lot of time. I think I finally have it sorted out now though.

I’ve also probably gained about 10 pounds. I believe this is most certainly due to the fact that I’m finally around the foods I’ve missed so much and have over-indulged. Not to mention, there’s so much stuff out there I’ve wanted to try and HAVE. I think I finally have it out of my system although on the weekends I still like to have some Nibs and a bag of Ketchup Chips. I’ll let you know when I get sick of those (NEVER).

What do I miss? I miss my friends in Cancun. I miss the beach. Oh the beach the lovely beach. I promised myself that if I ever moved to Cancun, I would go to the beach every weekend. I kept pretty true to that promise and although I missed some weeks here and there, in general, my life revolved around that white sand and beautiful turquoise blue water. I also miss certain ways of life that I can’t really put into words and I miss speaking Spanglish and having people understand todo.

What don’t I miss? Go read the archives of Mexico Way. LOL. And that’s not the half of it. This is the point where I shut up. 

What’s going on in my head? Generally I do a lot of comparing. I compare so many things that are silly to compare. I compare the toilets at my current employment to the toilets at my previous employment in Cancun. I mix things up like my password at my new work and type in my password at my old job (yet I don’t do this at home). I compare my car here to my car there (my ’98 Escort is a frickin luxury vehicle compared to my Chevy Monza 2000 in Cancun). I compare masses of people here to masses of people in Mexico. I compare the way people think. I bitch at the fact that it’s harder to be late for things here, than it is to be late for things there. I compare the fact that I probably look like an alcoholic to the people here (when I go out that is), and yet am totally on par with the drinking habits of people down there. So in general, I compare. I compare and I compare. And I’m not sure it will stop but in all honesty, I like comparing. It keeps me grounded, it reminds me that I’m a different person, and it makes me realize that what I’ve done is pretty frickin cool.

There are people out there that look at me, and talk to me, and have no idea where I’ve been, what I’ve gone through or what I’ve done. Even my friends here that know more about my life in Mexico can’t ever really know what it was really like. As a result, I feel like I am walking around with a big secret…..grinning in a way that makes people wonder what the heck it is I’m thinking about…..

......I like my secret and wouldn't change it for the world. Good & bad.

Diesel Meets Baby For First Time

2008-10-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

I Had A Baby!

2008-10-09T21:57:00.000-07:00

......in my arms! :)

Had you fooled.

This is my best friend's baby, Deo (pronounced Dio en Español). He is a total angel!

I have video of Diesel meeting him for the first time. This was Diesel's first baby and it was nice to see how gentle he was. The video is super cute and I will have to post when I have more time.

Have a great weekend!

I Love This Commercial

2008-10-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

My favorite line: "It is the most sophisticated piece of technology you will ever pee on."

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant!!!!

Lesson Learned

2008-10-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after work I was passing a store that I knew sold home-made soap and was thinking of buying a bar or two.

I've been annoyed every time I shower since Lil Spicy mentioned that mass-manufacturers of soap take out the natural moisturizers so that you in turn go and buy body lotion and spend more money making the company rich. This pissed me off because I hate that extra step of putting on lotion after I shower and often forget anyways. Not to mention, the whole wasting money factor.

So with soap on the brain I walked into the store and I hear this man say, "Would you like some free home-made soap samples?". I said yes! How did you know that I was thinking of home made soap? Or rather, I sensed that the free soap dude would be there. CRAZY. (See JJ my skills are getting better!)

Anyways . I'm so psychic bla bla bla. Moving on...

He mentions the two different types of soaps he's giving me except I barely listen because when I heard the word "cinnamon" I got all excited. Cinnamon is the bomb. It is the bestest spice eva and smells so yummy!

So this morning as I'm about to step into the shower, I look at my "stripped" bar of soap and remember I now have luxurious homemade soap and should USE it! I went into my purse reached in the bag the guy gave me and instinctively pulled out the soap that had the cinnamon in it. YUM. I was going to smell heavenly all. day. long. Actually the truth is....I can still smell that yummy smell as I type this.

Yeah so things went great except for one thing.

Do.not.use.soap.on.privates.

While I may not have a sweaty crotch anymore....let me tell you....my privates were on FIRE.

So. Lesson learned. NO cinnamon down there.

Kthxbai!

Good News!

2008-09-30T13:59:00.000-07:00

My pits smell so nice with this new "Secret Vanilla Chai Anti-Perspirant".....that I want to eat them!
Thanks Secret! You're the best!

I hope these are low calorie pits I'm eating....a girl has to watch her waistline.

Water Duties

2008-09-29T09:50:00.000-07:00

Explain to me why I'm the schmuck stuck replacing the garrafones in the office?

Is it because I'm an expert at it?

Is it because I am being punished?

Is it a reminder of the days where drinking tap water is a big no no?

Why the hell does the office have garrafones anyways? Tap water is just fine.

I am going on my 3rd week here and I've changed the water bottle 4 times. Seriously....WHAT.IS.UP.?

Kitty Theatre

2008-09-27T13:28:00.001-07:00

For Becky cuz I know you miss em!

Doggy Day at The Beach

2008-09-25T19:55:00.000-07:00

Big Problems

2008-09-23T22:18:00.001-07:00

When I moved to Cancun they didn't sell my deoderant. So after lots of trial and error, I finally narrowed it down to two roll-ons that I liked....A LOT A LOT. They were better than anything I ever used before and I liked to rotate and switch it up. I swore I'd never go back to the crap I was using before and even went so far as to forget what the hell it was.

Apparently roll-ons are not that popular here and of course they don't have Rexona AT ALL. And did you know that the Adidas deoderant I like doesn't come in roll-ons here and that they only have the sticks? And you guessed it....the stick sucks stinky pits!

So now what??? Fuck. I'm over the trial and error process. Someone ship me some deoderant or something. What I'm using now doesn't work very good. What's a girl gotta go through to keep her pits smelling like baby powder all day long? If the stuff I used before worked in the Cancun heat, it's gotta work here. EXCEPT THE STORES HERE DON'T HAVE IT!

In the meantime....don't smell my pits until I figure this out. Crap.

So Far So Good

2008-09-21T10:19:00.000-07:00

After completing my first week at my new job, I can tell you that I am pretty happy with the way things are going.

I haven't looked like an idiot yet who doesn't know what she's doing and........ I think I've even pitched a few great ideas.

So....so far so good. I was a little worried for a while there thinking that I was out of touch with the world and reality. I'm not as out of touch as I thought (thank god), but if they give me a blackberry to use....I may just have a nervous breakdown!

I did have to stop myself from saying something very "Mexican" though. I'm sure if I would have said it, they would have looked at me like I have 3 heads. Which really isn't all that different from going to the farmacia in Cancun and asking for a prescription. It's one of those, you're a white chick speaking Spanish and that confuses me things*. Anyways........ when everyone at the office was complaining about how they felt tired, drained and like they were getting sick, I almost said, "Oh yeah, well...... it's for the change of the weather!". Der!

Before, I realized that it's just a bunch of bullshit and I just learned to say that when someone got a cold in Cancun because, that's what you're suppose to say! Although.....it would probably make more sense here since there really are changes in the weather and there really are 4 seasons!

I think I'll buy them all Vic's Vaporub. That should solve everything from yeast infections to a cough.

I'm so thoughtful.

*One of the most common problems of an expat in Mexico is that sometimes even though you are speaking Spanish, people look at you as if you are speaking Chinese or something. For some reason it really confuses them. I can't tell you how many times my friends and I have said, "I asked for a pizza and she looked at me like I had 3 heads!". To which my response is, "Did you say pizza in Spanish?", and there answer was always, "YES!".

Moco Sucky Blanket

2008-09-19T23:25:00.000-07:00

If you stick around long enough to watch the whole thing, turn your speakers up. You can hear her purring at the end.

This is her obsession. This is how she keeps me up at night. She turns into a sucky blanket purring kneading zombie. And she ONLY does it when I'm in bed. She wont go off on her own and sucky blanket zombie by herself.

My guess is she lost her mama early on. She was a street kitty when I found her. She had just escaped getting run over by two cars and had spray paint all over her. She looked into my eyes and said, "You're going to take me home cuz you're a sucker!"...... And I did.

I've got "SUCKER" written across my forehead.

Keeping B.C. Beautiful

2008-09-17T20:48:00.000-07:00

Ugly utility boxes are no longer. They look like pretty forests, plants and flowers. No two boxes appear to be the same and if you're not looking hard, they often blend in with the trees in the background. Pretty cool yeah?

Of course I'd like to know who's paid for this whole beautifying project......probably tax payers!

Salsa Snobs

2008-09-13T13:03:00.000-07:00

You'd think this was a blog about salsa.....cilantro....onions....tomatoes....lime juice. Yum! But no. It's about Salsa...the dance, and how people have gone and fucked it up.

Salsa dancing to me is an art that simply revolves around the beat. The clave. The music. What's important about salsa dancing for me, is feeling the music, from the inside out, not just having it play in the background. What's important is interpreting music through your movements and sharing those movements with your partner...making a connection. Music to movement, movement to partner. And it's also about picking up your fucking feet and moving them.

My friend and I went to a Salsa Gala last night. It was held in a nice hotel, in a nice ballroom and it was a fancy affair. Everyone was dressed up with women in fancy dresses and men in fancy suits. There were fancy appetizers, various shows throughout the night, and a 15 piece salsa band. Sounds like a great time had by all.

Not so much! At least not for me and my amiga.

The girls brought their special dance shoes, and changed into them so that they could dance with their special dance partners and do their special flips and tricks.

My friend and I were ready to get down and feel the beat of the band but we felt so .... out of place.

Apparently everyone is a fricken salsa snob and this is how you must behave:

-Don't dance with anyone except your dance partner or people you know you will not look like an idiot with (god forbid you go the wrong way or don't follow the lead very well).

-Don't pay attention to the beat of the music. Just make sure you do 50 spins in 1 song, 30 flips, 100 tricks and 10 "shines". (Shines is what they call a few moments where the woman or the man does their own fancy dance and "shine" by themselves, while their partner is just doing the basic steps.)

- Make up your own dance! It doesn't matter if it's bachata, merengue or salsa.....just do whatever the hell you want, and make up your own crap!

- Do not drink alcohol. Salsa queens and kings, never get drunk. God forbid you start to actually feel the music or get a little tipsy.....it's UNACCEPTABLE!

- Don't do all of the actual salsa dance steps that go with the beat.....they just get in the way of the flips and tricks.

- Don't lift your feet up unless it's for a trick or dip.

- Men...don't be good leaders. Don't make your movements unquestionable. Expect women to know what the fuck your doing by lifting your arm up or flicking your wrist. (Why don't they know how to lead anymore? If you can't lead any random woman, you don't know how to freakin dance!)

So then, my friend and I decided to break all the fucking rules. We had a few drinks, we danced girl on girl, and we actually FELT the music. It was cool but the energy in that room sucked bleep. So we cut out early.

I am over the ballroom salsa wannabees in Vancouver. They need to get over themselves and remember what the hell salsa dancing is about.

I'm going back to the trashy salsa place in the shitty part of town. At least people drink, are there for the music, have fun, dance with whomever and have a good down to earth time dancing REAL salsa.

On that note....I need to go buy some cilantro...limes and tomatoes. Need a snack.

Back to Work!

2008-09-12T09:11:00.000-07:00

My sister told me about a hip new company that I may be interested in applying to. They do logistics marketing which can be anything from graphic design to print to personalized websites. They have these really cool open air loft offices and the view of the mountains is to die for.

Anyways, she had a meeting with them, mentioned my interests and as a result they called for me to send in my resume. They wanted to see me the very next day which had me shitting my pants because I had no clue how to answer the typical interview questions. So I studied and studied and studied and versed myself with words like, problem-solver, multi-tasker, organized, resourceful, and blah blah blah ginger.

I met with 3 people yesterday and the funny part is that the CEO who is responsible for hiring came in for one minute and said, "I have a pretty good idea about people when I first meet them so I'm going to leave, but so-and-so is going to finish the interview with you". I thought....ok....well I guess I just blew it. But she asked me questions and brought in the HR manager and then later the CEO came back in and said they needed talented people because they have 3 large projects they need to get done and I need to start Monday.

Well, apparently now I have to practice cooking because I'm suppose to go to the company pot-luck today. I did not practice throwing last minute dishes together to bring to a party!!! WTF. Anyhow, this is why I have a mothers right? :) Thanks mom!

So.....there you have it. I start work on Monday. I can't believe how great things have been going since I came back....and I can't believe I have had electric, water, gas and t.v. consistently!

Quick.... call 060 .... something is odd!

I Has A Confort

2008-09-10T22:22:00.000-07:00

Very confortible.

Testing The Email Function

2008-09-09T17:31:00.001-07:00

Apparently I can blog by sending an email. This will work if I want to blog from my phone.

If this does not work...then I guess this options sucks.

My "Guey"

2008-09-08T23:54:00.000-07:00

That's right, and that's how I like it.

My "Guey"!

Thanks to the lovely Theresa and her wonderful contributions, a light bulb went off in my head and I was finally able to figure out a blog name that I thought was funky with a Spanish twist. Theresa had suggest "My Way" and that is where I got the idea for my new blog, MY "GUEY".

To those of you who are Spanish language challenged, "guey" is not pronouced "guy" nor "gooey" nor "gwie". It is simply pronounced "way" and is a play on words and tribute to my previous blog, MEXICO "WAY".

I hope all my readers continue to follow me over here and those of you who have me in your readers and your blogrolls may want to update. I know I know. I total pain in the behind. I'd be annoyed too. In fact I'm annoyed that I had to go and create a whole new blog and I'm annoyed that I'm sitting here at 12:10 a.m. typing this.

But it's done! And I welcome you. I have pics and topics to post about.

Speaking of.....I think Diesel likes his new bed...